COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged self improvement

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Learning to Love Yourself

We tend to focus on looking for love, hoping for love, and waiting for love. Yet if we look to others to meet that basic need then we’ll always be empty and unfulfilled.

That is, for others to love us in a healthy way, we must first be able to nurture ourselves … and to love and honour who we truly are. The steps below can help you work towards this goal.

1. Decide to treat others with love and respect: As you seek to bring joy into others’ lives you’ll find that they repay you with kindness and love.

2. Practice random acts of kindness: “Play it forward” by doing random thoughtful things. That will turn you into someone you respect yourself – and you’ll also find that others are more generous to you.

3. Let go of the past: What happened in the past is merely history now. Today is a new day, and you are starting a new page. Let go of disappointments, hurts and any grievances you hold against yourself, other people – or the world!  

4. Forgive yourself: We all make mistakes, or we regret some bad decisions. Don’t ridicule, berate or criticise yourself for that. Instead, forgive whatever happened, and give yourself a break. It simply means you’re human – and are not infallible.

5. Practice positive self-talk: Write down and repeat affirming statements and truths … like “I am gifted” … or “I’m a true and loyal friend”. Post these statements on the mirror and repeat them to yourself.

6. Think through what you really want in life – You can carve out your own path and you choose your own destiny. Your life is a gift and you can choose what you will do.

7. Be persistent: Work wholeheartedly at loving yourself. If you’ve suffered in the past then be compassionate. Be ready to acknowledge and work through your pain. You deserve that respect – and it will help to set you free.

8. Celebrate your accomplishments: It’s easy to ignore or to downplay what we have done – but don’t be blind to your successes and accomplishments. They ought to be acknowledged as they’re part of who you are.

9. Think of someone you want to be like and emulate them: Doing that will build those qualities into your life as well – so it is easier to like, love and accept yourself.

10. Be yourself and trust yourself: Be true to yourself – and don’t care what others think. Learn to trust your instincts and to follow your own heart. Also, learn it’s OK to say “no” and to do your own thing … And you don’t have to feel guilty for not pleasing everyone.

11. Don’t compare yourself to others: Every person on the planet is different and unique. We all have different talents and different histories. Discover who YOU are and then invest in being you!  

 12. Work on receiving love: When someone pays you a compliment or tries to show you love, don’t quickly brush it off – but try and see it as a gift. That is, a gift that shows you’ve value and are loved, and loveable.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy self help self improvement self esteem mental health mental illness online counselling college

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How to Cope with Exam Nerves

Although it’s normal to feel some anxiety when you’re preparing for, or taking, a test - too much can hamper you from doing well. Below are some tips to help you to cope with this:
1. Learn and apply proven studying techniques so you feel you really know the test material. This should help to improve your confidence and reduce excessive anxiety.
2. Work on staying positive while you’re studying. Think about doing really well, not always struggling, or even failing.
3. Make sure you get plenty of sleep the night before a test.
4. Don’t forget to eat right before a test either. You need protein to have enough energy to concentrate fully for the length of the test. Avoid junk food as that tends to lead to a high and then a low.
5. Try to calm and relax yourself as you enter the test room. Take a few slow, deep breaths. In your head repeat positive self-statements like “I am well prepared. I’m going to do a good job on this test.”
6. Don’t start to panic if the questions seem too hard. Just skip over the ones you can’t do, and keep reading until you find something you CAN do.
7. Ignore the fact that other students seem to be finishing before you. Take all the time you need and focus on doing your best.
8. Once the test is over, try and forget about it. There’s nothing you can do until your mark is returned to you … and maybe you’ve aced it, or done really well!

Filed under counselling psychology therapy test exam student education inspiration motivation goals success self help self improvement online counselling college

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Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, you must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.
Mary Manin Morrissey

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How to Talk About Painful Feelings of Rejection

1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, and someone who accepts you unconditionally.

2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself, and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!

3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so more to you than that one aspect of your life.

4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely, or feeling like a failure, by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (Listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc).

5.Treat yourself to something special like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can get you past this moment – so you can find the strength you need to recover all the pieces - and then build your life again.

6. Do something physical like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel all that energy. Also, exercise is known to be a natural mood enhancer.

7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That just part of being human … we’re different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.

8. Remember that “this too will pass”. All of us encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment – but in time our feelings change.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships friends rejection mental health mental illness self help self improvement online counselling college