COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged relationships

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Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self-Esteem

1. Social withdrawal

2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil

3. Lack of social skills and self confidence,

4. Depression and bouts of sadness

5. Less social conformity

6. Eating disorders

7. Inability to accept compliments

8. An inability to see yourself “squarely” - to be fair to ypurself

9. Accentuating the negative

10. Exaggerated concern over what you think other people think

11. Self neglect

12. Treating yourself badly, but not other people

13. Reluctance to take on challenges

14. Reluctance to put yourself first - or anywhere

15. Reluctance to trust your own opinion

16. Expecting little out of life for yourself

Source: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-ten-facts-about-low-self-esteem/

Filed under therapy self improvement self esteem mental health mental illness counselling psychology inspiration relationships online counselling college

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The Four Faces of Introversion

1. Shy-secure people: Don’t have a strong need to be around people, and don’t tend to worry about talking to new people. They can socialise if they need to, but they general prefer to be by themselves and to do things on their own.

2. Shy-withdrawn people: Suffer from social anxiety. They are highly sensitive to perceived rejection, are anxious of negative evaluation, and are afraid of doing something embarrassing. They suffer more anxiety than other types of shy individuals. (nos 1, 3 & 4)

3. Shy-dependent people: Are overly helpful, accommodating, self-effacing and compliant. They have a strong need to be with other people but they feel they are inferior or “not good enough”. They have good social skills and are pleasant company – but they give up their true self in their desire to fit in.

4. Shy-conflicted people: Vacillate between wanting to be around other people and then pulling back (as social situations are a real source of stress). This group of people experience the most stress and anxiety.

For more information see: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/200909/all-introversion-is-not-the-same

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Tips for Making Small Talk

Being good at making small talk is a crucial life skill, and is key for making a positive impression. Some tips to help you with this include:

1. Go prepared when you’re meeting new people, or when you have to attend a social event. Think about some topics you can talk about with others (and that will depend on the people you are meeting). Prepare some general questions to get others talking (For example, what are they doing for the holidays; or what good movies have they seen recently?) Also, if you’ve met some of the people at a previous event, try to remember a few things about them (such as what are their main interests, or where do they work?)
2. Most people feel uncomfortable when meeting someone new so be the first person to say “hello.” If you’re not sure if the person will remember you, help put them at their ease by saying who you are.
3. Don’t rush introductions. Focus hard on remembering the names of those you meet, and use them often to fix them in your mind.
4. Help the other person talk by opening up the conversation with open-ended questions that asks for more details. For example, “Isn’t this a great party! How do you know (the host)?”
5. Pay careful attention to what the person’s saying; don’t allow your mind to drift or to start to wander off. Eye contact should be steady – so don’t glance to the side.
6. Make sure you listen more than you talk to someone new.
7. Work on having something relevant and interesting to say. Know what’s going on and making headlines in the news. These can help to open up a conversation. (For example, you can lead with a comment like “What do you think about…?” Have you heard…?” What is your take on…?”
8. Avoid controversial and negative topics; also, refrain from boring stories that have too many details. It’s meant to be a casual, light and easy conversation.
9. Pay attention to your body language. If you act as if you’re comfortable and confident, that will put the people around you at ease, too. However, if you look shy, awkward and uncomfortable, that will rub off on the people you are socialising with.
10. Before you join a conversation that’s already in progress, first stand on the sidelines and listen carefully. Don’t squeeze your way in with a badly-timed remark.

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