Posts tagged relationships
Posts tagged relationships
1. Project an impression of openness: The number one key to appearing warm and friendly is projecting an aura of openness. This is usually achieved by using open body language - which basically involves the following:
· Don’t cross your arms; allow them to hang naturally at your sides.
· Similarly, if you’re sitting down, keep your legs stretched out and uncrossed.
· Lean forward to show an interest in the other person.
· Stand up straight; don’t slouch.
· Smile (that helps to put both you and the other person at ease).
2. Pay attention to eye contact: Making good eye contact is essential as well. It indicates you’re happy to be talking to that person, are comfortable and confident, with nothing much to hide. However, if someone won’t meet our eye, it makes them seem a bit more shady (or it can simply send the message that you lack confidence.) Also, try to be natural and don’t stare at the person, as they’ll feel uncomfortable and want to escape.
3. Adjust your signals to the other person’s signals: An astute individual is also aware of, and can read the body language, of other people too. For example, if their non-verbal language seems quite closed and defensive, you may need to back off and give the person space.
4. Engage in Conversation: To create a great impression, you really want the other person to pick up the message that you think they’re wonderful! The best way to do that is to ask them open questions – so you find out all about them, and the things that interest them. For example, what kinds of things are they passionate about? What are their hopes and their dreams for the future? Then respond to their answers with other open questions - to build a fuller picture of what that person’s like.
Starting a conversation to get to know someone or breaking an awkward silence can be very stressful. To start a conversation when you have nothing to talk about, use these guidelines.
1. Introduce yourself if necessary. If you don’t know the person, breaking the ice is very simple: look approachable, tell the new person your name, offer your hand to shake, and smile.
2. Remark on the location or occasion. Look around and see if there is anything worth pointing out. Examples of location or occasion comments include: “This is a gorgeous room!”, or “Great dog!”
3. Ask an open-ended question. Most people love to talk about themselves, and open questions can help with this. These require an explanation for an answer rather than just a simple yes or no. Open questions tend to begin with who, when, what, why, where, and how.
4. Keep the conversation going with small talk. This keeps the conversation light and simple, and helps to establish similarities.
5. Synchronize. Once the other person has started talking, follow his or her cues to keep the conversation going smoothly. Use active listening to reflect what they’re saying and, perhaps, feeling.
6. Helpful techniques and cues to convey your interest include: Say the other person’s name from time to time; give encouraging feedback (by nodding, saying “ah-ha”, “wow’, “oh” “That’s amazing!”, etc.); keep your body language open and welcoming; and make comfortable, genuine eye contact with the person.
7. Be aware of your internal monologue. When you suddenly feel that you’re not able to engage in conversation with someone else, it’s likely that you’re saying negative things to yourself. For example, you may be worrying that you’re boring, not good enough, too unimportant, intruding, wasting their time, and so on. Try to keep in mind that everyone has these self-doubts from time to time.
8. Respond thoughtfully to someone who remains awkward or uncomfortable. If he or she appears withdrawn and uninterested, don’t persist for too long. Try a bit more, and then make the decision to move on and talk to somebody else. Also, be careful not to ask too many questions as they may feel shy discussing themselves.
Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About (Adapted)
1. Start by being kind and gentle with yourself. There are plenty of people who would love to criticise … So be your own protector and your own best friend.
2. Choose self-love over self-hatred. Many people find they veer between these two extremes – but over time gravitate more towards one or the other (through automatic thinking and their inner dialogue) … So actively reject self-hatred, and then exercise self-love.
3. Stop being harsh and judgmental, and accept your imperfections. We’re all flawed and broken, and we all make bad mistakes.
4. Start enjoying who you are, and being alone with yourself. Embrace solitude, and the chance to be with “you”.
5. Think of all the different things you’re grateful for in life, and the people who have loved you, and have seen the good in you. As you do that, you will start to value who and what you are.
1. Don’t listen to the voice inside your head that tells you that you are inadequate.
2. Don’t hang out with people who look for the flaws and can’t see the best in the people in their lives.
3. Recognise that each person is different and unique. There is no-one like you - and you have great attributes.
4. Take note of your efforts, and the progress you have made. You’ve already come far. You should celebrate that!
5. Appreciate others, and what you gain from them. Don’t see them as people who undermine you.
6. Remember that NO-ONE is perfect at all - and that other people struggle with the same stuff as well.
7. Go after what matters the most in this life: being loyal, and thoughtful, and caring, and kind.
1. They don’t just talk – they act
2. They force themselves to experiment with lots of different experiences
3. They do spontaneous, crazy, fun things
4. They care about others – and act to make a difference in their lives
5. They’re a person, not a resume
6. They try, make mistakes, then get up and try again.