Posts tagged relationships

Roommates can be divided into the following types:

1. The thoughtless roommates: This is the person who leaves their stuff scattered around the room and never cleans or tidies up after themselves. First, remember that he or she is not deliberately trying to annoy you. However, you need to discuss this or nothing will change. When you do that, don’t come across as being angry and accusatory. Instead, stay casual, warm and friendly. Also, ask if there’s anything you can do to make life easier for them.

2. The “borrower”: This is the person who takes your stuff, and treats your belongings as if they’re also theirs. This can range from something small like a few slices of bread to something more important like your clothes or bike. Clearly, this is NOT OK and needs an open discussion so that everyone is clear as to what the boundaries are.  

3. The explosive flatmate: Often, this type of person seems calm and tolerant – then suddenly blows up over fairly minor things. Yet, we come from different backgrounds – and each person is unique – so different stuff annoys us or becomes an irritant. Here, a frank honest, discussion will often do the trick so that tension doesn’t build, and spoil a good relationship.

4. The irresponsible flatmate: This individual is unreliable and doesn’t seem to care about the impact of their actions. For example, they break stuff and just leave it, or forget to pay the bills … They never see it as their problem, and they just don’t seem to care. This person needs confronting in a firm, respectful way. And if things stay the same – don’t ever share with them again!

5. The ghost roommate: This is the person who is rarely around. They often have a busy life or else they travel with their job. They’re rarely problematic – so be glad that they’re so easy – and enjoy your time together when they happen to be there.

1. Realize that you’re not the only one. The reality is that most of us worry about the same kinds of things – such as whether others like us, are bored by others, or the kind of impression we’re making.

2. Try to uncover the roots of your anxiety. There may be a variety of reasons for feeling self-conscious, such as having had a bad experience in the past, feeling that you’re with people who are very different from you, or feeling you’re with people who don’t understand you. Also, it may simply be that you’re more introverted so social situations are more stressful for you.

3. Acknowledge the feelings as soon as they arise. That will enable you to start targeting them through positive self talk. For example, remind yourself that: “I always feel like this in these kinds of situations. I’m going to be okay. I usually cope – and I will this time, too.”

4. Fake looking and acting calm, relaxed, and self confident. In time, you’ll find your feelings will change to match the way you appear on the outside.

5. Also, acting warm and friendly helps put others at ease, and encourages them to feel more relaxed around you.

6. Try not to worry about what other people think. In reality, other people will often feel as nervous as you do. It’s just that they’ve learned how to cover it up. Also, some people think negatively about everyone. You’re never going to change this kind of person – and you don’t need their approval anyway!

7. Be kind to yourself. Praise, affirm and reward yourself for deciding to do something that’s difficult for you.  

1. Be generous with your smiles

2. Listen attentively when people talk to you.

3.  Be warm and friendly. If you don’t know the people in the group, be the first one to introduce yourself.

4.  Pay others compliments (make sure they are genuine – and not fake).

5.  Be considerate and polite to both friends and strangers.

6.  If you’re going to a party or social event, offer to be the designated driver.

7.  Turn up on time (or arrive a few minutes early).

8.  Overlook minor mistakes.

9. Never shame or embarrass others.

10.  Give people the benefit of the doubt. If uncertain, think the best, not the worst of others.

1. Try to always be positive, affirming and encouraging.

2.  Be willing to help others.

3. Notice the little things that make a difference to others – and do them.

4.  Don’t hold grudges – forgive and move on. Accept we all make mistakes at times.

5.  Be patient and understanding.

6.  Be generous, large hearted and happy to share.

7.  Be willing to put yourself out for others. Share your time and your abilities with them.

8.  Be genuinely interested in other peoples’ lives.

9. Be polite, respectful and pleasant.

10. Treat other people in the same way as you’d like them to treat you.

1. Send them an encouraging text or message.

2. Give them some home-baked cookies or some beautifully packaged chocolates.

3.  Send them a card, or leave a handwritten note on their desk.

4.  Offer to do something for them, or to help them with something they are struggling with.

5.  Pay them a (genuine) compliment.

6. Thank or praise them in front of others.

7. Notice, and comment on, their effort and hard work.

8. Offer to pay - instead splitting the bill.

9. Show up to something they’re participating in (a sport, musical performance etc)

10. Be upbeat, positive, and try to make them smile.