COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged rejection

609 notes

How to Talk About Painful Feelings of Rejection

1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, and someone who accepts you unconditionally.

2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself, and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!

3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so more to you than that one aspect of your life.

4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely, or feeling like a failure, by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (Listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc).

5.Treat yourself to something special like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can get you past this moment – so you can find the strength you need to recover all the pieces - and then build your life again.

6. Do something physical like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel all that energy. Also, exercise is known to be a natural mood enhancer.

7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That just part of being human … we’re different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.

8. Remember that “this too will pass”. All of us encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment – but in time our feelings change.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships friends rejection mental health mental illness self help self improvement online counselling college

834 notes

Tips for Dealing with Rejection

1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways.  Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s more a reflection of the fact that we all are different.

2.  Try and leave your emotions aside and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)   

3. Be alert to over-generalising and over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”

4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintances so that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or react towards us.  

5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we just have to be ourselves.  We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy rejection relationships mental health mental illness friends self help self improvement inspiration motivation online counselling college

765 notes

Tips for Dealing with Rejection

1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways.  Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s more a reflection of the fact that we are different.

2.  Try and leave your emotions aside and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)  

3. Be alert to over-generalising and over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”

4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintance so that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or react towards us. 

5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we have to be ourselves.  We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.

Filed under rejection love relationships self esteem counselling psychology therapy self help self improvement inspiration motivation success mental health mental illness online counselling college

507 notes

How to Deal with Rejection, or Being Victimised

1. Remind yourself of who you really are – and use positive self-talk to change the way you feel.

2. When you have to speak to someone who outwardly rejects you, or makes you feel bad about yourself, try to act as if you love and feel good about yourself. Fake courageous feelings, and act self confident. (“Fake it till you make it” – and you’ll find your feelings change.)

3. Respond in a friendly, self respecting way – and they’re likely to treat you the same way too.  Control your interactions by setting the tone. You be the one to have the upper hand.

4. Use humour in uncomfortable and awkward situations. Humour defuses tension, and puts people at ease. If someone is rude or insulting try to find a way of turning it into a joke. People who have bullying tendencies expect you to get anger or act in a defensive way. When you respond with humor, they don’t know what to do.

5. Overlook small stuff. It’s not worth get upset over every little thing. They’re not worth the effort and energy.

6. Always believe in yourself. You know the truth about who you really are. You’re not stupid; you’re not a victim. You are one who is charge of your life, and is at the helm of your destiny. You have plenty of things to feel good about, and you’re going to make something really wonderful of life.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy rejection victim relationships self help self improvement mental health mental illness self esteem online counselling college

498 notes

How to Deal with Painful Feelings of Rejection

1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, and someone who accepts you unconditionally.

2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself, and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!

3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so more to you than that one aspect of your life.

4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely, or feeling like a failure, by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (Listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc).

5.Treat yourself to something special like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can get you past this moment – so you can find the strength you need to recover all the pieces - and then build your life again.

6. Do something physical like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel all that energy. Also, exercise is known to be a natural mood enhancer.

7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That just part of being human … we’re different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.

8. Remember that “this too will pass”. All of us encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment – but in time our feelings change.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation rejection relatiionships self help self improvement self esteem mental health online counselling college

1,242 notes

Tips for Dealing with Rejection

1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you. We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we all see people and the world in different ways.  Hence, it is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s more a reflection of the fact that we all are different.

2.  Try and leave your emotions aside and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)   

3. Be alert to over-generalising and over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me” or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”

4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintances so that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key people treat us, or react towards us.  

5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of the day we just have to be ourselves.  We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation rejection relationships self help self improvement mental health mental illness online counselling college

525 notes

How to Deal with Rejection

1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, and someone who accepts you unconditionally.

2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself, and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!

3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so much more to you than that one aspect of your life.

4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely, or feeling like a failure, by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (Listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc).

5. Treat yourself to something special like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can get you past this moment – so you can find the strength you need to pick up all the pieces and build your life again.

6. Do something physical like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel all that energy. Also, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer.

7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That just part of being human … we’re different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.

8. Remember that “this too will pass”. We all encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment – but in time our feelings change.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships rejection self help self esteem self improvement mental health online counselling college

325 notes

How to Deal with Rejection, or Being Victimised

1. Remind yourself of who you really are – and use positive self-talk to change the way you feel.

2. When you have to speak to someone who outwardly rejects you, or makes you feel bad about yourself, try to act as if you love and feel good about yourself. Fake courageous feelings, and act self confident. (“Fake it till you make it” – and you’ll find your feelings change.)

3. Respond in a friendly, self respecting way – and they’re likely to treat you the same way too.  Control your interactions by setting the tone. You be the one to have the upper hand.

4. Use humour in uncomfortable and awkward situations. Humour defuses tension, and puts people at ease. If someone is rude or insulting try to find a way of turning it into a joke. People who have bullying tendencies expect you to get anger or act in a defensive way. When you respond with humor, they don’t know what to do.

5. Overlook small stuff. It’s not worth get upset over every little thing. They’re not worth the effort and energy.

6. Always believe in yourself. You know the truth about who you really are. You’re not stupid; you’re not a victim. You are one who is charge of your life, and is at the helm of your destiny. You have plenty of things to feel good about, and you’re going to make something really wonderful of life.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation goals success self confidence bullying self improvement self help online counselling college mental health rejection

385 notes

How to Cope with not Being Liked

1. Expect some people to reject you. It’s a fact of life that we won’t like everyone – and there will be people who don’t like us. It often has to do with different personalities rather than something being wrong with you.

2.  Learn how to brush off rejections and put downs – at the end what matters is how you handle it. If you still act as if you are comfortable with “you” then others will respect you for your healthy self-esteem.

3. It’s often about them and not about you so try not to take rejection personally. Perhaps they are jealous or envious of you; or perhaps they’re just taking their feelings out on you.

4.  People rarely see us in absolute terms. There are some things they will like and others they’ll dislike. It may be they hate one particular trait – but we’re a mix of many things - so don’t worry about that.

5. Don’t over-think what other people think or say. Distract yourself, and think of something else instead. They’re not worth the effort or the wasted energy. Just get on with your life and enjoy being you.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy self confidence self esteem rejection self improvement self help relationships friends online counselling college

1,442 notes

Characteristics of Self-Rejection

1.    Believe that, deep down, I am flawed and unlovable (deeply ingrained feeling of inferiority)

2.    Unable to accept myself

3.    Believe that everything I do is wrong, stupid or inept

4.    Have perfectionist tendencies/ set unrealistic standards for myself (standards I know I can never live up to)

5.    Feel I am always disappointing others

6.    Fear being criticised and judged by others/ always wondering what others think about me (and expect their opinions to be negative)

7.    Have difficulty trusting others, especially in close relationships

8.    Have difficulty loving others, and receiving love from others

9.    Am easily hurt and offended

10.  Am always looking to be affirmed by others because I cannot accept and love myself.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy rejection self improvement self help self esteem self confidence mentall illness relationships online counselling college