Posts tagged personality

1. Exhibit integrity – A person is said to have integrity if what they say and what they do are rooted in the same set of core values.

2. Don’t speak badly of others – If you speak badly about others to a friend, the chances are you’ll also speak badly about them. Hence, they are likely to be hesitant in what they share with you.

3. Be an optimist – This doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand. It meanschoosing not to dwell on the negatives, and actively looking for the positives.  

4. Make the effort to be helpful – Life is so much sweeter if you’re thoughtful and kind – and we rarely forget someone who’s caring and warm.

5. Set some goals and have some ambition - This is an extremely contagious quality.  Not only will you achieve higher goals for yourself, you’ll give hope to others, and inspire them to try.

6. Seek to be compassionate and understanding – All of us face battles and experience hard times. Empathising with others when life is tough helps to ease their burden and renew their inner spark.

7. Believe in, love and respect yourself - If you don’t accept, respect and love yourself, then you’ll send out vibes that you’re inadequate. However, it you love, believe in and treat yourself well then it’s likely that others will treat you that way, too.   

8. Persist until you succeed – Although ambition is important, it is not enough. You have to persevere if you’re going to succeed. So when you stumble or fall down just get up and start again. Then keep on going till you finally succeed.

9. Be open minded and willing to learn - If you’re closed in your thinking  and set in your ways then you’ll never discover a different,  better way .. and you’ll close yourself off to other possibilities.

10. Take responsibility for your life - Blaming others for your problems, or acting like a victim won’t help you to move forwards, and have the life you want. Take control of your destiny. Success is up to you.

Millions of people across the world are diagnosed as suffering from mental illness. And though most of those are disorders are common and well-known (such as depression, anxiety and phobias) there are also some unusual and bizarre disorders. For example:

1. Stockholm Syndrome – Typically seen in abducted hostages, this is where the captive shows signs of sympathy, compassion and loyalty towards the hostage taker. This occurs regardless of the way they have been treated – and even where they’ve been tortured or their life is under threat.  

2. Lima Syndrome – This is the opposite of the previous syndrome. It’s where the hostage taker is extremely concerned for the plight and wellbeing of the hostages.

3. Diogenes Syndrome – This disorder is marked by severe self neglect, compulsive hoarding, reclusive tendencies, and keeping large numbers of animals at home.

4. Paris Syndrome – This is very exclusive disorder … one restricted to Japanese tourists in Paris (It’s true!) The sufferer experiences a total mental breakdown when the city fails to meet their cultural expectations (Paris is rarely as polite, romantic, peaceful and idyllic as the tourists had imagined). To cope with this experience, their embassy established a 24hr hotline to help those with the syndrome.

5. Jerusalem Syndrome – People diagnosed with this particular disorder experience delusions and spontaneous psychosis after visiting a holy city. To date, all identified sufferers have had a history of mental illness, or some kind of psychosis.

6. Capgras Delusion – In this rare disorder, the individual believes that a friend or family member has been abducted and replaced by an impostor (who looks identical to them). It is generally seen in those with schizophrenia, dementia, or some kind of brain injury.

7. Fregoli Delusion – This is the exact opposite of Capgras delusion. It is the false belief that numerous different people are actually one person who keeps changing their disguise.

8. Cotard Delusion – A person suffering from this delusion believes that they don’t exist, are dead, are putrefying or have no blood or internal organs.

We each have our own personality – that unique part of us that makes us who we are. It affects every aspect of our lives - from who we date, to what we study, to what we like to do. So what do we know about personality?

1. Birth order can affect our personality: We discussed this a bit in a previous post. There are traits we associate with being a first born (being bossy, motivated, high achievers or more driven); with being a middle born (being friendly, people pleasers, and quite skilled negotiators); and being a last-born (being amusing, more laid back, and also less responsible). Empirical research supports these norms and trends.

2. There are Five Core Personality Traits: These are measures of extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness.

3. Personality remains stable through life: The research findings are less conclusive here. It may be that some core traits are less susceptible to change. However, traits which seem less fixed and less stable over time include anxiety levels, friendliness and eagerness for novel experiences.

4. Certain personalities are more prone to disease: There appears to be a link between one of the “big 5 traits” (neuroticism) and proneness to developing headaches, asthma, arthritis, peptic ulcers and heart disease. There is also a link between having a Type A personality (and, in particular, scoring high on the hostility levels) and developing cancer and heart disease.

5. Our personality affects our personal preferences: The impact here is surprisingly far reaching. It includes: our choice of friends and partner, our taste in music, our political preferences, our career choices, our preferred holiday destinations and so on.

6. People can tell your personality from your facebook profile: Interestingly, although you might expect people to project an ideal online identity, research indicates that facebook profiles actually tend to convey our real personality. Sam Gosling, a key psychologist and author, has explained this in the following way: “I think that being able to express personality accurately contributes to the popularity of online social networks in two ways …First, it allows profile owners to let others know who they are and, in doing so, satisfies a basic need to be known by others. Second, it means that profile viewers feel they can trust the information they glean from online social network profiles, building their confidence in the system as a whole.”

7. There are a number of factors that contribute to personality disorders: An estimated 10 to 15% of adults are diagnosed with at least one personality disorder in their lifetime.  Factors contributing to the onset of these include: Genetics, relationships with family and peers, inheriting high levels of sensitivity, childhood abuse and experiencing a trauma.

8. Your pet may reveal your personality: Many people consider themselves to be either a “dog person” or a “cat person”? Research into pet preference and personality indicates that dog lovers tend to be more extroverted and greater people pleasers, whereas cat lovers tend to be more introverted and curious.

Dependent personality disorder (DPD) is one of a cluster of disorders defined by symptoms of anxiety and fear. The specific, identifying symptoms include:

·  Being emotionally dependent on others; feeling they can’t take care of themselves

· Investing a lot of time and effort in trying to please significant people

· Displaying clingy, passive and needy behavior

· Avoiding disagreements for fear of losing approval and support

· Experiencing separation anxiety and intense fear of abandonment

· Finding it hard to be alone

· Putting the needs of others before their own

· Tolerating mistreatment and abuse for fear of disapproval and abandonment

· Being crushed, and feeling helpless, when relationships end – and forming new relationships as soon as possible

· Being unable to make even the simplest decision without the input and reassurance of others

· Rarely taking the initiative

· Avoiding personal responsibility

· Avoiding responsible jobs and careers that require independent, autonomous functioning

· Being over-sensitivity to criticism

· Feeling negative and pessimistic; expecting to disappoint and fail

· Having low self esteem and lacking confidence, including a belief that they are unable to care for themselves.

The cause of disorder is still unclear, and probably includes both a genetic and environmental component. Some researchers have speculated that it could be linked to an authoritarian or overprotective parenting style – which acts as a trigger for a genetic predisposition.

Treatment is usually initially sought for some other problem or concern – such as feeling overwhelmed – so that they can’t cope with life. Also, sufferers will often have a mood disorder so they seek help for depression or anxiety at first.

The normal treatment for this particular disorder is counselling or psychotherapy. However, the emphasis is short term therapy so the person doesn’t form a dependency – and then look to the counsellor to take care of them. Prognosis with support is generally good.

1. Don’t expect empathy, understanding or praise and recognition from a narcissistic person.  Keep your private thoughts and feelings close to your heart, and don’t open up and make yourself vulnerable.

2. Expect them to be rude and to say offensive things.

3. Don’t be offended by the things they say and do as it’s not about you – they treat others the same way.

4. Make a lot of their achievements and praise them publicly as they’re always looking to be noticed and affirmed.

5. Don’t try to get a narcissist to see things differently as they’re not going to change, or be influenced by you. 

6. Understand that a narcissist is going to drain you dry – and will guilt you into think that you haven’t done enough. But it’s actually not true. They just can’t be satisfied.  

7. Don’t push for a meaningful relationship with them as it will always be one-sided … look for love from someone else.

The eight most hated personality traits include the following:

1.Arrogance – This is the know it all who looks down on others. They’re haughty, superior and proud.

2.Rudeness – This includes being impolite, offensive, or embarrassing … and disregarding social norms and rules.

3.Being domineering and overbearing – This individual like to take control of others, and dictate situations and events. They disregard the input and the feelings of others. It’s all about them, and what they think and want to do.

4. Dishonesty – This is one of the most hated traits as it undermines trust – the glue that binds relationships. And once trust has been lost it is hard to regain

5. Being moody and temperamental – It is hard to relate to temperamental individuals. They’re changeable, erratic and unpredictable. It can destroy the peace, put everyone on edge, and leave you feeling tired, worn out and drained.

6. Unreliability – This also undermines and destroys the sense of trust that’s critical for forming good, and strong, relationships. You don’t know where you are – or if the plans will later change. Hence, it’s hard to feel at ease – or to delegate to others.

7. Being overly dependent / always needing support – It’s exhausting when you always have to be there for others – to protect them from life’s blows and rebuild their self-esteem. You can’t just be yourself or focus solely on your life. You have to bolster them, and affirm their strengths and worth.

8.Pessimism – We all feel negative and fed up at times. But the pessimist can never see the sun, or silver lining. They never stop complaining, are grumpy or mad, and very quickly sap any energy you had.

1. Qualities and Traits of Extroverts

- Outgoing and sociable; may begin to feel down if they spend too time alone

- Active, energetic, enthusiastic and lively

- Expressive and affectionate

- Like adventure and new experiences

- Often seem courageous and confident

- Like to pursue a wide variety of interests

-  Spontaneous and impulsive

- May have a low boredom threshold

2. Qualities and Traits of Introverts

- Prefer to think more and talk less

- Prefer solitary to group activities; find it exhausting being around people all the time

- Dislike being centre stage

- Makes carefully thought out decisions (Like to have all the facts available, and have time to weigh up all the pros and cons)

- More subdued and less excitable; may appear to be lacking in energy and enthusiasm

- May seem shy, detached and hard to get to know

- Prefers to focus on a few key interests than to be involved in a lot of different things

- Are good at amusing themselves.

3. Qualities and Traits of Ambiverts

Although many individuals will tend to demonstrate either more extroverts or introverts personalities, many others will feel they are a mixture of the two. These types of people are known as ambiverts. That is, ambiverts display the traits of introverts in some situations, and extroverts in others.

1. Work on becoming an exceptional listener. There’s nothing more attractive, and appealing, than someone who listens intently to you.  

2. Keep reading, and seek to develop a wide range of interests. That makes it easier to talk to you, and to exchange ideas with you. You also come across as being a more interesting, balanced, and knowledgeable individual.

3. Work on developing your conversation skills.  This is partly tied in with number 2. It’s about being able to make small talk and to share interesting bits of information with others. If you are shy, or you find this difficult, try to watch and learn from others who are strong in this area. Then, try copying and implementing some of the basic skills they use.

4. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinions. It’s good to know what you think about things as this provides a starting point for making conversation. (But be careful not to come across as rude, dominating, or to push your thoughts and views on other people!)

5. Get out and meet new people. This also helps develop our interpersonal skills as it forces us to interact with those who’re different from us. Doing that, will broaden and expand your horizons and make it easier to mix with lots of people.

6. Appreciate, enjoy and express your true self. You are special and unique – so discover who you are – and don’t try to copy, and be like, someone else.

7. Work on developing a positive and optimistic approach to life. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is critical, complaining, miserable and pessimistic.  In contrast, a positive person lifts the mood of everyone. So smile, affirm others, and look for what is good.

8. Also, maintain a sense of humour, laugh often, and have fun. We all want someone who can brighten our way, and distract us from the hassles and problems of the day.

When it comes to following instructions or rules, what type of personality are you?

1. The Upholder: This type of person is comfortable with rules, whether they’re these are their own rules, or externally imposed rules. For example, an upholder will try to follow through on their New Year resolutions, or stick to a study or an exercise schedule. They will also hand in all their work on time, and pay their bills as soon as they arrive.

2. The Questioner: This type of person will only follow rules if they make sense to them. They tend to question everything, and decide what they are going to do on a case by case basis. Thus, they’ll only do what’s reasonable and logical – and they have to be convinced that the rules are reasonable and logical.

3. The Rebel: This type of person resists any kind of control at all. They always feel as if their rights are being infringed, or as if they’re being pressurised or dominated. Thus, they will typically ignore, flaunt, or react against any guidelines, instructions or rules.

4. The Obliger: This type of person complies with external requirements and rules, but can’t impose any rules on themselves. Hence, they’ll set up a plan with a personal trainer but won’t actually make it to the gym on their own.

The following suggestions may help you to cope with borderline personality symptoms:

1. Listen to music that is opposite to the feelings you are battling. For example, if you’re feeling down, play some upbeat music; if you’re feeling uptight and on edge, play some calm, relaxing music.

2. Do something active – to help drain off agitated or restless energy, or to distract your mind from unwanted, rushing thoughts.

3. Call a counselling hotline, or a friend who understands. Don’t try to struggle with your feelings all alone. You need support  from others who understand and care.

4. Try and ride it out – as the feelings will subside. It is part of a cycle. If you’re patient, things will change.

5. Practice mindfulness. Try and keep your focus on the here and now. Don’t think about the future – or review what’s in the past.

6. Regulate your breathing - take deep, slow and even breaths. As you concentrate on that, you will start to feel more calm.

7. Think of all that is good - all your positives and strengths. Don’t think about what’s negative, or old hurts and regrets.  Be your own best friend – praise, affirm and love yourself.