Posts tagged pain
Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever.
You can feel the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt … We all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart.
Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.
Isn’t it funny how the memories you cherish before a break up can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle - it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day, and throw away the key.
It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it’s never gone.
It’s unfortunate, and I really wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They’re kinder.
Don’t look back, or focus on the past. Everyone experiences some failure and regret. To know success in life you need to learn the painful lessons - then turn and look ahead, and keep your focus on the future.
Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns gets passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.
The best way to recover and move on with your life is to cherish and be grateful for the happy memories … to let go of the pain so you can be free again … and to look ahead with hope to what the future holds.
Scar tissue has no character. It’s not like skin. It doesn’t show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It’s like a slip cover. It shields and disguises what’s beneath. That’s why we grow it; we have something to hide.
Anytime we drag our past into the future, we have some grieving to do. When we refuse to grieve, it slows us down and robs us from finding our lives.
When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you for a bit but, in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.
It is hard to be casual and superficial when you’ve had a meaningful relationship with someone. So to recover from a break up, the best thing to do is to keep your distance and avoid them if you can. Doing that will allow your heart to start to heal, as the wound is not being opened, and your feelings aren’t being stirred. This will help to set you free to rebuild your life again, and you’ll be able to relate to them more easily in time.
How to Deal with Hurt and Pain
1. Try and put into words exactly how you’re feeling. Is it the pain of rejection? Is it an overwhelming feeling of shame and self-loathing? Is it a sense of disbelief that you’ve been treated so cruelly by others? Is it a sense of utter desperation?
2. Try and find a way of expressing the pain. Sometimes we can tell the person who has hurt us– but often we feel that they won’t be responsive. If that is the case, find someone you can open up to. It’s really important that you have the chance to honestly express what you’re going through. If you feel there’s no-one you can talk to right now, then perhaps try journaling, or using some kind of art, like music or painting.
3. If the pain’s related to something that happened, admit that you can’t go back and change the past. You need to let it go and keep your eyes ahead. You are not defined by what happened to you, and you have what it takes to live a rich, rewarding life.
4. Related to this, forgive yourself and don’t hold on to regrets. Learn what you can – and then choose to move ahead. Don’t be a victim of your past, or other people.
5. Reconnect with the person that you were previously. Think of who you might have been if this had never happened. You can still be that person: they are still a part of you.
6. Focus on the things that bring you joy and happiness, and focus on those people who love care for you.
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.
