Posts tagged online counselling college
Posts tagged online counselling college
1. The need to always be right – and to be affirmed by others as being right.
2. The need to control other people, and the circumstances of your life.
3. Any tendency to play “the victim role”.
4. Negative and destructive self-talk.
5. Self-defeating and limiting core beliefs. (“I’m worthless; no-one will ever want or love me; I’ll never amount to anything in life.”)
6. Whining and complaining – about your own personal weaknesses and failures … or the flaws and shortcomings of others … or difficult, unjust or trying circumstances.
7. A critical and harsh attitude.
8. The need to please and impress other people (or to live up to other people’s expectations).
9. Being paralysed by anxiety and fear – so you won’t take risks or try different things.
10. Regrets and resentments related to the past – as the past can’t be changed – but the future is still yours.
What you should say and how you should act depends on the context and who’re you’re with … but here are a few general ideas:
1. Smile – It’s welcoming, warm, and makes you seem more approachable.
2. Compliment people all the time. Most people feel awkward and ill at ease. So try and find something that is worth complimenting. You’ll help them to relax and to feel more confident (and they’ll also feel more positive about, and around, you).
3. Try and have a few stories up your sleeve that you’ve used before, and that make people laugh. This is really helpful when things go quiet, and the conversation dries up for a while.
4. Say nice things about people you both know. It makes you seem trustworthy, and a loyal friend.
5. Encourage people to talk about themselves by asking open questions – then probing a bit more. But stick to safe topics – and try to keep things light.
6. Make sure you mingle well and don’t talk for too long. This takes off the pressure when you don’t know others well. It also make you look more confident and sociable.
1. Make sure you read and understand the instructions: This is absolutely crucial. A lot of students are keen to rush ahead and so they quickly skim over the exam instructions. Then, later, they discover that they did it wrong! For example, do you have to do every question on the exam paper, or do you only have to choose a certain number? Is there a penalty for guessing – so is it better not to guess? (For example, because you lose an extra point for each answer you get wrong).
2. Read through the exam and divide up your time accordingly: For example, make a note of the number of questions there are, and notice what all the different questions are worth. This isn’t wasted time as reading through the questions will start to activate your memory. Decide which questions will be easy, and which will take more time, and mentally allocate your time accordingly. Also, allow some time at the end to review what you have written, and do some corrections if you think you’ve made an error.
3. Work through each question systematically: Slowly read through the questions, and underline key words. Also, check to see if there are several parts to any question. Make sure you’ve fully understood what you’re being asked to do, then try and plan your answer before you start to write.
4. Attempt every question: It’s better to do something than nothing at all. You might get a few marks for just thinking along the right lines. If you’re running out of time, then resort to bullets points. You’ll cover more by doing that than writing complete sentences.
5. What of your mind goes blank? Take a few, slow deep breaths and try your best not to panic. It’s important not to let your anxiety take over. Take control of your thinking by reassuring yourself that is only temporary - and soon will pass. Repeat true, positive thoughts like “you’ve worked hard and are ready”, and listen to your breathing – as it starts to slow down again.
6. Review what you’ve written and make corrections if they’re needed: Leave some time to go over your answers at the end – but don’t change what you’ve written unless you’re sure it’s wrong. Also, look out for blank spaces, for questions you have missed, and turn over the last page – in case there’s something at the end!
1. Increase your awareness. The first thing to do is to recognize how much they’re interfering with your daily life, and holding you back from being happy and free.
2.Try to be specific. What is it that worries you about the situation? What is the one thing that terrifies you most?
3. What do you need? Reassurance, support, or a friend by your side? Or perhaps you need to learn and acquire new skills? Once you know what you need you can seek out that help.
4. Try journalling. Writing down your different fears can be source of release - so you don’t feel so powerless, or trapped and overwhelmed. Also, writing things down often helps clear our mind, so our thinking’s more rational and less emotional.
5. Talk to someone. It’s often very damaging to bottle things inside. So try and find a friend who you know will understand. Also, it’s hard to keep fighting when you feel you’re alone.
6. Arrange to work with a counsellor. A counsellor is trained to help you uncover the roots, and to teach you the skills that you need to cope with fear.
7. Do it afraid. By choosing to take action and face your different fears you will undermine their power, and the hold they have on you.
8. Flip the fear around. When your mind is assaulted by a sense of fear and dread – turn the situation round and imagine things going well … Then, think of how you’ll feel if you don’t give in to fear.
9. Look for a role model. We know that there are others who also live with fear – yet they refuse to give in, and they choose to push through fear. Watch and learn from their example – and do the same things, too.
10. Normalise failure. None of us is perfect, or always confident. We all make mistakes, and we all get it wrong. But trying leads to progress and change over time. Understand you’re on a journey; be patient with yourself.