Posts tagged mental illness

1. The Constant Victim - This kind of individual will always finds a way to end up as a victim in their relationships.

2. One-Upmanship Expert – This person uses put downs, snide remarks and criticisms, to show that they’re superior, and know much more than you.

3. Powerful Dependents – They hide behind the mask of being weak and powerless – then use their helplessness to dominate relationships. That is, they send the subtle message “you must not let me down.”

4. Triangulators – This person tries to get other people on their side. They’re quick to put you down, and to say some nasty things. They separate good friends or drive a wedge in families.

5. The Blasters – They blast you with their anger or they blow up suddenly. That stops you asking questions - in case there’s a showdown.

6. The Projector – This person thinks they’re perfect and others have the flaws. They take no ownership – because they’re never, ever wrong.  

7. The Deliberate Mis-Interpreter – They seem like a nice person – but they twist and use your words. They spread misinformation and misinterpret you. Thus, they deliberately present you in a false, negative way.

8. The Flirt – This person uses flirting to get their way in life. They want to be admired and to have an audience. However, your feelings and your needs are of no concern to them.

9. The Iron Fist – They use intimidation and throw their weight around, to use you for their ends, and to get their way in life.

10. The Multiple Offender – This person uses several of the techniques we’ve described – and they’ll often switch between them if it suits their purposes.

1. 1 in 5 people in the Western world will battle mental illness. The other 4 in 5 will have a friend, relative, classmate or colleague who suffers from mental illness.

2. Mental illness affects a person’s mood, thought processes and actions. It is usually a source of considerable distress.

3. Symptoms vary depending on the person, and range from mild to severe.

4. Approximately 20% of those diagnosed with some form of mental illness will also battle substance abuse.

5. In terms of onset, 70% of mental health problems first appear in childhood or adolescence.

6. The highest reporting age group are those between 15 and 24 years.

7. Males are 2 to 3 times more likely than females to be diagnosed with some kind of substance dependency. Also, 25% of male drinkers fall into the high-risk drinkers category, compared to only 9% of female drinkers.

8. However, females are approximately 1.5 times more likely to meet the criteria for a mood or anxiety disorder than men.

9. Those in the lowest income households are significantly more likely to report having poor to fair mental health than those in the highest income households.

10. A significant proportion (estimated at around one-third) of those requiring mental health services actually receive the help they need. The majority do not.

11. The fact that people are less likely to tell friends or coworkers that a family member has a mental illness indicates that stigma is a major problem.

12. In fact, when interviewed a large number of people admitted that they would stop socialising with a friend who was known to have a serious mental illness.

13. Almost half the population think the term mental illness is simply an excuse for bad behaviour and/ or a lack of personal responsibility.

14. Mental illness is one of the highest causes of disability and premature death.

15. The World Health Organization estimates that depression will be the single largest medical burden on health by the year 2020.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.

2. Stop putting yourself down, and attacking yourself with your own thoughts and words.

3. Don’t reject compliments. Instead of automatically brushing them off, recognise that what has been said is true.

4. Deliberately affirm yourself throughout the day with positive statements like “I am a valuable person; I am unique and have talents and gifts; I am likeable and loveable.”

5. Surround yourself with positive people who can see, and affirm, your worth and value. At the same time, avoid critical and negative people who get a kick out of putting others down.

6. Make a list of the goals you have achieved, and your minor and major successes in life.

7.  Make a list of your top 10 traits and remind yourself of these important qualities.

8. Be true to yourself. It’s important that you live an authentic life and be the person you were meant to be. Don’t try to be a replica of anybody else. You have so much to offer – so always be yourself.

Emotional numbness is where we experience mild to severe feelings of detachment – so it’s hard for us to access normal feelings any more. This includes both negative and positive emotions as you can’t decide to shut just one feeling off. Common causes of emotional numbness include different stresses or traumas … from receiving bad news … to being in an accident … to recovering from the death of someone close … to a relationship breakup … to feeling deeply humiliated or ashamed.

So how do you overcome emotional numbness and live with emotional integrity again?

1. The first thing to do is to choose to respect and allow all emotions – no matter what they are. Also, try and grasp the fact that suppressing your emotions will likely lead to heartache and problems later on (as they’ll possibly resurface at inappropriate times.)

2. Try and understand that feelings and actions are two very different, and unrelated, things.  That is, you can still feel angry without becoming violent – so don’t assume your feelings will affect your actions, too.

3. Try to figure out the message behind intense emotions. Are you angry because you’ve been hurt, used or abused? Are you sad because deep down you feel that you’ll never find true love - as you can’t believe that anyone will love you for yourself?

4. Take that risk – and find the courage to ask someone for help. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know that there are those who genuinely love you like – like a true and caring friend. The important thing is not to try and isolate yourself, and to make the extra effort to prioritise self-care. You need other people to help you work through this.

5. Seek professional help if the symptoms persist. There are excellent counsellors and therapists out there who have the training and skills to help you to get free – so you can live a more fulfilling and normal, healthy life.

6. Be patient within yourself. It’s likely to take time – as you will need to learn to trust, and take some barriers down, so you can be yourself again (and that is often hard to do when you’ve experience hurt and pain).  

1. Commit to just 2 minutes a day. Start simply if you want the habit to stick. You can do it for 5 minutes if you feel good about it, but all you’re committing to is 2 minutes each day.

2. Pick a time and trigger. Not an exact time of day, but a general time, like morning when you wake up, or during your lunch hour. The trigger should be something you already do regularly, like drink your first cup of coffee, brush your teeth, have lunch, or arrive home in the evening.

3. Find a quiet spot. Some like to meditate in their own room; others prefer to find a spot in a park or some other soothing setting. It really doesn’t matter where — as long as you can sit without being interrupted for a few minutes.

4.  Sit comfortably and focus on your breath. As you breathe in, follow your breath in through your nostrils, then into your throat, then into your lungs and belly. Sit straight, keep your eyes open but looking at the ground and with a soft focus. If you want to close your eyes, that’s fine. As you breathe out, follow your breath out back into the world. If it helps, count … one breath in, two breath out, three breath in, four breath out … when you get to 10, start over. If you lose track, start over. If you find your mind wandering (and you will), just pay attention to your mind wandering, then bring it gently back to your breath. Repeat this process for the few minutes you meditate. You won’t be very good at it at first, most likely, but you’ll get better with practice.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/fundameditate/ (abridged)

Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means you recognize them and act on them when you deem it appropriate, not randomly and uncontrollably.

1.    Know your emotions. There are a million different ways you can feel, but scientists have classified human emotions into a few basics that everyone can recognize: joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation. Jealousy, for example, is a manifestation of fear - fear that you’re not “as good” as something else, fear of being abandoned because you’re not “perfect” or “the best”.

2.    Recognize that emotions don’t just appear mysteriously out of nowhere. Many times, we’re at the mercy of our emotions on a subconscious level. By recognizing your emotions on a conscious level, you’re better able to control them. It’s also good to recognize an emotion from the moment it materializes, as opposed to letting it build up and intensify. The last thing you want to do is ignore or repress your feelings, because if you’re reading this, you probably know that when you do that, they tend to get worse and erupt later. Ask yourself throughout the day: “How am I feeling right now?” If you can, keep a journal.

3.    Notice what was going through your mind when the emotion appeared. Stop and analyze what you were thinking about, until you find what thought was causing that emotion. Your boss may not have made eye contact with you at lunch, for example; and without even being aware of it, the thought may have been in the back of your mind, “He’s getting ready to fire me!”

4.    Write down the evidence which supports the thought that produced the emotion or against that thought. When you begin to think about it, you might realize that since nobody gets along well with this particular boss, he can’t afford to actually fire anyone, because the department is too short-staffed. For example, you may have let slip something that you should not have said which angered him, but which it is too late to retract.

5.    Ask yourself, “What is another way to look at the situation that is more rational and more balanced than the way I was looking at it before?” Taking this new evidence into account, you may conclude that your job is safe, regardless of your boss’s petty annoyances, and you’re relieved of the emotion that was troubling you. If this doesn’t work, however, continue to the next step.

6.    Consider your options. Now that you know what emotion you’re dealing with, think of at least two different ways you can respond. Your emotions control you when you assume there’s only one way to react, but you always have a choice. For example, if someone insults you, and you experience anger, your immediate response might be to insult them back. But no matter what the emotion, there are always at least two alternatives, and you can probably think of more: (i) Don’t react; do nothing. (ii) Do the opposite of what you would normally do.

7.    Make a choice. When deciding what to do, it’s important to make sure it’s a conscious choice, not a reaction to another, competing emotion. For example, if someone insults you and you do nothing, is it your decision, or is it a response to your fear of confrontation? Here are some good reasons to act upon:

• Principles - Who do you want to be? What are your moral principles? What do you want the outcome of this situation to be? Ultimately, which is the decision you’d be most proud of? This is where religious guidance comes into play for many people.
• Logic - Which course of action is the most likely to result in the outcome you desire? For example, if you’re being confronted with a street fight, and you want to take the pacifist route, you can walk away—but, there’s a good chance that burly drunk will be insulted if you turn your back. Maybe it’s better to apologize and keep him talking until he calms down.

Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Gain-Control-of-Your-Emotions

1. Fear of flying: Even though statistics show it is the safest way to travel, flying still appears to be the number one fear.

2. Fear of public speaking: This is due to the fact that all eyes are on you – and if you make a mistake then there’s no escape!

3. Fear of heights: Perhaps it’s more appropriate to say “the fear of landing” – and the possible damage this could do to you!

4. Fear of the dark: This fear is almost universal in all younger kids, and it’s one that can persist well into adulthood. It’s partly due to the fact that we can’t tell what is there - so we feel vulnerable as can’t protect ourselves.

5. Fear of intimacy: This is closely aligned with the fear of rejection, abandonment, commitment, and of being controlled.

6. Fear of death: This is partly related to the fear of the unknown, but also to the thought of non-existence, too.

7. Fear of failure: Almost everybody fears being scorned and written off – or of missing the mark, and being judged inadequate.

8. Fear of rejection: We all want to feel loved, and to know that we belong – so we fear being rejected and the message that this sends.

1. Threats and fear of abandonment. These can lead to jealousy and feelings of insecurity.

2. Lack of emotional nurturing. This can lead to feelings of emotional deprivation – which can feel like a bottomless pit to fill.

3. Growing up with feelings of entitlement. This can lead to feeling as if you don’t have to live by the same rules as others – as you are special, and a bit superior.

4. Being told that you’re inferior or inadequate. This causes you feel like you’re never good enough.

5. The demand to be perfect, and to always get things right. This can leading to being driven – and incredibly high standards.

6. Being betrayed by those you trusted – so you won’t trust now, and you can’t get close to others, or let them get close to you.

7. Being raised is a way that your needs were denied, not allowed, disregarded, trivialised or ignored. This can lead to a doormat type of personality where other people matter – and your needs never count.

1. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented.

2. Types of sexual assault include: rape, attempted rape, child sexual abuse (which includes asking or pressuring a child to engage in any kind of sexual activities, indecent exposure, showing children pornography, sexual contact against a child, physical contact with the child’s genitals, viewing the child’s genitalia, or using a child to produce child pornography), elderly sexual abuse, sexual harassment, groping, and sexual domestic violence.

3. In most legal jurisdictions, sexual assault is considered to be a statutory offence (although precise definitions vary from one jurisdiction to another).

4. In almost all cases of sexual assault, victims experience profound long-term psychological effects. These can take the form of denial or rationalization, feelings of helplessness, an aversion to sex, anger, guilt, self-blame, self hatred, anxiety, fear, shame, recurring nightmares, flashbacks, depression, mood-swings, numbness, promiscuity, loneliness, a tendency to isolate oneself, and difficulty trusting oneself or other people.

Not all counsellors are good counsellors. Some should be avoided as they’re clearly unskilled and don’t offer clients the service they deserve. So what are the warning signs to pay attention to; what should notice and view as a red flag?

1. The counsellor is attempting to work outside their area of training and expertise.

2. The counsellor has their own agenda – instead of working on your personal goals.

3. The counsellor fails to offer you a contract for service, information on your rights as a client, and information on their ethical policies.   

4. The counsellor is judgmental or criticises your attitudes, choices, decisions or lifestyle.

5. The counsellor is harsh or confrontational (instead of being accepting, understanding and empathic).

6. The counsellor fails to listen carefully, or to give you their full attention in the session. (For example, they allow interruptions, or they seem distracted and miss important details you have shared).

7. The counsellor forgets your name and doesn’t remember information you shared at a previous counselling session.

8. The counsellor adopts a one-up position, and treats you as inferior or uninformed. (This can include using psychobabble.)

9. The counsellor acts as if they have all the answers and tells you what to do, or offers you advice.

10. The counsellor either talks too much, or not at all.

11. The counsellor reacts or gets defensive when you offer feedback or voice dissatisfaction.

12. The counsellor knowingly, or unknowingly, is getting their needs met at your expense. (For example, they may talk excessively about themselves, or similar problems they’ve had, or are having.)

13. The counsellor seems overwhelmed by your problems.

14. The counsellor seems uncomfortable with displays of emotion. They seem more at ease with facts than feelings.

15. The counsellor is uninterested in your culture or spirituality.

16. The counsellor tries to push their culture and spiritual beliefs on you.

17. The counsellor flirts with you, or is interested in developing a romantic or sexual relationship with you.

18. The counsellor discloses personal information about you without your written consent. Alternatively, he or she shares personal information about his or her other clients.

19. The counsellor is late for, cancels or forgets appointments.

20. The counsellor has unresolved complaints with their licensing board.