COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged loneliness

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How to Deal with Feelings of Loneliness

1. Remember that we all feel lonely at times – and many feel lonely a lot of the time.

2. Find something you enjoy and that interests you. Being absorbed in your passion can change the way you feel.

3. Don’t think that sex will help to fill the emptiness. It won’t bring lasting meaning or fulfilment to your life. In fact, you’re likely to feel lonelier, and more dissatisfied.

4. Even if you’re in a happy, and strong, relationship you can’t expect your partner to meet your every need. We still need other friends, and other things that we can do.

5. Make sure that you’re not living in some kind of fantasy – through films, TV characters, or form being online. It’s an imaginary world that can never satisfy. You need to live in the real world and work on real relationships.

6. Don’t wait for other people to phone or contact you. Call your friends, or arrange something for everyone to do.

7. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol to block out how you feel. That’s a temporary solution – and won’t help in the end.

8. If you’re afraid of getting close as you’ve been hurt in the past consider getting counselling or psychotherapy. You can heal from your scars, and you can learn to trust again.

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How to Deal with Loneliness

1. Try and discover why you feel so lonely. When did you first become aware of the feelings? Is there anything that’s intensified it?

2. Recognise that there’s a difference between feeling lonely and having to spend some time on your own. When we’re used to being around other people, perhaps before we broke up with our girlfriend or boyfriend, then suddenly being single can feel awkward and strange. However, being alone here is different from intense, painful feelings of loneliness.

3. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Just sharing how we feel can make a huge difference. It helps us to feel heard and understood – so we don’t feel so abandoned, unwanted and alone.

4. Work on developing your self-confidence. Always being busy and hanging out with others can stop us from finding and being our true self. But as you start to develop your own tastes and interests you’ll find that you start to feel more confident.

5. Be the one who initiates activities with others. For example, suggest a movie that is popular right now, and try and get some friends to go and see it as a group. Or, invite a few friends over – don’t wait for them to do it – and you might be surprised by how much fun you have!

6. Reach out to others and help when you can. It will soon take your mind off yourself and your feelings – and you’ll grow in self-respect and self-confidence.

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Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best,and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
Christian D. Larson

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