COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged inspiration

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How to Recognise a Toxic Friend

1. Is this a person who always puts you down? A friend is someone who accepts you as you are – and allows you to be different, and to think for yourself, and to make your own decisions – without an explanation. However, if a person is demeaning or always puts you down, criticises your opinions, or the way you dress or look, then that’s someone to avoid as they’re a toxic friend.

2. Do they gossip about you? A friend is someone you can totally trust. You can share your deepest secrets, and say what’s on your mind – and they won’t tell a person or betray your trust. However, if you always have to watch what you say around a friend as they’re likely to gossip or let something slip then it’s likely that this person is a toxic friend.

3. Do they constantly mock and make fun of you? A bit of gentle ribbing shows affection between friends. But if they’re always making fun of you, or highlighting your faults, or attacking you in public, then they’re not a genuine friend.

4. How do you feel after being with your friend? Think about your answers to the following:

- Do you feel defensive when you spend time with them?
- Do you feel hurt or upset after spending time with them?
- Do you feel as if you always have to justify yourself instead of being “natural” around your friend?
- Do you enjoy their company or do you feel ambivalent?
- Do they undermine your confidence and self-esteem?
- Do you feel attacked and used after spending time with them?
- Does the friendship feel unbalanced and require a lot of work?
- Is it more a competition than a genuine friendship?

Note: If you recognize the signs of a toxic friend, then it’s time to move on and find a different friend. Being with this individual will wreak your happiness.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation self improvement relationships friends mental health mental illness online counselling college

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7 Secret for Maintaining your Motivation

1. Grasp that it’s YOUR life, and no-one else’s life.
2. Decide to “live on purpose”.
3. Recognise that achievement has a price tag attached to it – and decide you’ll pay that price.
4. Work on constantly maintaining your focus.
5. Chose a skill or a field and become competent, or an expert, in that area.
6. Find other people who will hold you to your goals – and will believe in, and encourage you, to strive to reach your dreams.
7. Consciously notice the progress you are making, and remind yourself “it’s worth it” as you’re further on the path.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inpiration motivation goals success inspiration self improvement depression mental health mental illness online counselling college

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Things that can Destroy your Motivation

1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.
2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.
3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.
4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.
5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.
7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.
8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.
9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face our challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.
10. Encountering setbacks. No matter how great your plans, or your level of commitment, you’re bound to face some setbacks and encounter obstacles. That’s a normal part of growth – just keep going when life’s tough.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy motivation goals inspiration self improvement mental health mental illness student success online counselling college