COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged inspiration

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Too many women waste their lives grieving because they do not have something other people tell them they should want. Whether you are happy or not depends to some degree upon outward circumstances, but mostly it depends how you choose to look at things yourself, whether you measure what you have or what you have not.
Anne Perry

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Tips for Overcoming Shyness

1. Notice your triggers – the people and situations that make you want to hide.
2. Identify the different thoughts that you are thinking at these times, and the negative things you are saying to yourself.
3. Identify your special and your unique qualities – all your good points and your strengths, the different things that make you you.
4. Try to grasp that other people aren’t thinking about you (as they are thinking of themselves, and how they come across, instead.)
5. Realise that you are usually so much harder on yourself – whereas others like and love you as you are – for being you.
6. Try to see that just conforming is a boring way to live. It’s so much better to be natural, and to be your real, true self.
7. Resist the urge to escape quickly when you feel uncomfortable. Just hang in there and you’ll find that things will slowly start to change.
8. Notice all the times you’re brave and move outside your comfort zone … and find that things don’t fall apart - but go much better than you’d thought.

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Being raised in an unstable household makes you understand that the world doesn’t exist to accommodate you, which… is something a lot of people struggle to understand well into their adulthood. It makes you realize how quickly a situation can shift, how danger really is everywhere. But crises when they occur, do not catch you off guard; you have never believed you lived under a shelter of some essential benevolence. And an unstable childhood makes you appreciate calmness and not crave excitement.
Curtis Sittenfeld

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All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.
Wayne Dyer

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Basic Needs for a Healthy Self-Esteem

1. The need to give and receive attention

2. The need to look after your own body

3. The need for meaning, purpose and goals

4. The need for a connection for something greater than ourselves

5. The need for creativity and stimulation

6. The need for intimacy and connection to others

7. The need for a sense of control

8. The need for a sense of status and recognition from others

9. The need for a sense of safety and security.

Any one or more of these may be slightly lacking in your life without dire consequences. However, in the long term, they all must be catered for, one way or another.

Source - and for more information see - www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-ten-facts-about-low-self-esteem/

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The next time you feel you have to defend something about yourself, ask yourself, why am I feeling I must defend this? Be willing to let your heart and wisdom smile upon people, sending them your love and acceptance. Do not feel you must say anything. Be who you are. Do not try to be perfect all the time.
Orin

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7 Ingredients for a Happy Life

1. Decide to let go of worry and “what ifs”

2. Work on developing your self-confidence

3. Forgive yourself, and others, and let go of grievances

4. Be open and warm in your relationships

5. Don’t compare yourself with other people

6. Define own success

7. Be optimistic, and keep on persevering.

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When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?
Sherrilyn Kenyon

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