Posts tagged insecurity
Posts tagged insecurity
1. Believe you can make progress, and start to overcome it. That is the first, and the most important, step.
2. Think about a time when you took a chance, and pushed through your fear, and it worked out well. Remember that feeling – it can happen again.
3. Look for a role model - someone you relate to - who managed to overcome their insecurities. Let them inspire you and learn from their success.
4. Let go of the past, and whatever holds you back. Just focus on this moment, and taking one step now.
5. Stop resisting change – let whatever happens happen. You may discover that it works out even better than you’d thought.
6. Let the stress fall away and allow peace to flood your mind. As you learn to relax you’ll start to feel more confident.
1. Take control of your thought life and focus on the truth. A lot of people become insecure because they start to think about things going badly wrong. Stop imaging your partner being untrue to you, or becoming interested in somebody else. Don’t let your fears create a false reality.
2. Let the relationship follow its own course. Allow yourself and your partner to simply be themselves, and to only commit what they are ready to commit. A good relationship is based on understanding and respect. Don’t try and force the relationship along.
3. Don’t give into the urge to snoop around. Don’t start being sneaky, or acting in ways that make you seem suspicious or lacking in trust. That is sure to undermine your relationship!
4. Focus on being positive. Instead of spending all your energy on feeling insecure – or in putting yourself down, or thinking of “what ifs”, try and think about the happy, good experiences you’ve shared.Also, think of all the reasons why your partner’s chosen YOU.
5. Don’t compare yourself with others. We all have different strengths, personalities and gifts. Be proud of who you are – you are special and unique.
6. Don’t compare this relationship to previous relationships. Even where things have gone wrong in a past relationship, it doesn’t mean this partner will do the same things, too. It’s a new chapter now – give your partner a fair chance.
Insecurity is rooted in the core belief that you’re incompetent and inadequate.
Insecure people may have:
· Been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable or volatile home.
· Been raised in an environment with unrealistic expectations and demands.
· Lacked affirmation and positive feedback so they doubt their qualities, abilities and skills.
· Have felt overshadowed by siblings and friends who got all the attention, and the positive strokes.
· Received little direction, guidance or support to help them cope with pressures, and make crucial decisions.
· Experienced a tragedy or major loss that makes it hard for them to cope with, and adjust to, change.
· Low self-worth and low self-esteem.
· Felt inferior to others, and written off by them as being not the type of person to include, or listen to.
· A poor body image – so they’re anxious and tense, extremely self-conscious and self-critical.
What do chronically insecure people believe?
· I’m no good at anything
· I can’t accomplish the tasks that I have to complete (as I haven’t got what it takes to succeed)
· Everyone is watching me, and waiting for me to mess up and fail.
· I’m a loser and a failure.
· I’m ugly - and no-one will ever find me attractive.
· There’s no point in trying as I always get it wrong.
· No matter what I do, or how hard I try, no-one’s ever going to recognise me.
· No will could ever want, like or respect me.
· I don’t deserve to be treated well.
· I don’t fit in.
· People are only nice to get their own way, or it there’s something they want to get from you.
· Be willing to make yourself vulnerable, and get involved in meaningful relationships (as they could lead to happiness instead of pain).
· Start opening up to, and trusting, a few people.
· Choose to laugh at your need for acceptance and approval – and remind yourself that other people fail as well!
· Take a rational approach and tackle your beliefs so they’re less extreme, and more balanced and healthy.
· Practice being assertive in relationships. Start saying “no”, and expressing your own views.
· Make a note of your successes, your strengths and skills. Add to that list on a regular basis.
· Notice and reward the small steps you take that lead to success – and empower you more and more.
· Work though, and let go of, past hurts and grievances.
Also, decide to be laid back, and go easy on yourself. If you trip or fall, just get up and try again. You’ll get there in the end – as life’s a journey, not a race.