COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged friends

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Signs of a Toxic Person

1. Nothing you can say or do is good enough
2. They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection
3. They drag up your past and won’t allow you to be different
4. They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes
5. They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are
6. They’re critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs
7. They leave you feeling beaten, wounded, battered, bruised and torn
8. They violate your boundaries, and they never respect “no”
9. They don’t care about your feelings – and they like to see you suffer
10. It’s always about them, and what they think, and want, and feel.

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Signs of a Great Person

1. They’re not easily offended, and don’t take things personally
2. They’re accepting, non-judgmental and always want the best for you
3. They respect others’ perspectives, needs and boundaries
4. They listen well to others, and try to see their point of view
5. They’re kind and understanding, warm, respectful and accepting
6. They’re trustworthy and loyal, and they think the best of you

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Traits of a Best Friend

1. They believe in you even when you’ve stopped believing in yourself
2. They respect your boundaries, and don’t try to manipulate or control you
3. They’re faithful and loyal – and are always there to listen when you truly need them
4. They put up with your annoying little quirks and habits because they understand you’re not perfect yet
5. They’re not envious or jealous when you succeed at something. They’re on your side and want the best for you
6. They allow you to be you, to have your own viewpoints, and to follow your own interests - as they like you being unique
7. They are generous, large hearted, and quick to forgive. Also, they don’t bear grudges, and they think the best of you.

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Getting by Without Friends

1. See it as something that isn’t permanent. Even though it hurts now, it won’t always be this way. One day you’ll find others who will treat you properly – so be gentle on yourself and recognise that it will pass.

2. Learn to enjoy your own company. See it as a time to reflect on your life, and really think through what you want for yourself.

3. Find different things you can do, and enjoy, by yourself. Also, developing new interests will stop you feeling bored.

4. Spend time looking after a pet or animal. Pets are consistent, loyal and reliable. They’ll never hurt your feelings, and they’re good company.

5. Talk to other people that you meet casually (at the checkout, in a queue, or when you’re ordering some food). You’re likely to find you get a warm response – and that will remind you that you’re actually OK!

6. Don’t let this bad experience undermine your confidence. Keep reaching out to others, and one day things will change - and you’ll find other people who like to be with you.

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Some Relationship Questions

1. Who makes you happy, and brightens up your day?
2. Who brings out the best in you?
3. Who do you feel most accepted by?
4. Who would you trust your deepest secrets to?
5. Who challenges you to be all that you can be?
6. Who is truly happy when things go well for you?
7. Who is jealous or envious of you?
8. Who puts you down, or would love to see you fail?
9. Who takes all the time but you nothing back?
10. Who isn’t worth the investment of your time?

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How to be Popular

1. Don’t try to be popular – Try and be natural around other people. Don’t seek for approval or try to impress.

2. Think about others, and not just yourself – Listen to others, be kind, considerate, and don’t only talk about yourself and your life.

3. Be generous and large-hearted – Don’t draw attention to others’ mistakes; overlook small offenses and be ready to forgive. Also, appreciate everything that others do for you, and notice their hard work, achievements and success.

4. Watch your ego – No-one likes hanging out with a person who brags, or who thinks that they are better than everyone else.

5. Work on your sense of humour – Don’t take yourself too seriously. Just laugh at your mistakes, and any stupid things you say. Also, try to brighten others’ day, and put a smile on their face (but be careful not to bore them with a list of corny jokes!)

6. Quietly focus on character – People are attracted to those with character … so influence by example; let your life speak for you.

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How to Come Across as being Friendly

1. Smile and laugh (to try to put others as ease)
2. Avoid distractions (like constantly checking your phone)
3. Keep your body language open (so you seem approachable)
4. Ask open questions about the other person
5. Listen properly, and show an interest in what’s said
6. Maintain a comfortable level of eye contact
7. Practice making small talk (and stick to positive topics)
8. Compliment others and comment on their strengths.

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