Posts tagged forgiveness
How to Forgive and Move On
1. Commit to letting go. You aren’t going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something. So commit to changing - simply because you recognize that the pain is hurting you.
2. Think about the pros and cons. What problems does this pain cause you? Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others? Does it affect work or family? Does it stop you from pursuing your dreams, or becoming a better person? Does it cause you unhappiness? Then think of the benefits of forgiveness — how it will make you happier, free you from the past and the pain, improve things with your relationships and life in general?
3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others. However, you can control your own thoughts and actions. You can choose to stop reliving the hurt. You have the power. You just need to learn how to exercise it.
4. Think about your role and responsibility. Try to figure out if there is any way you might have partially contributed to the situation. Is there anything you can do to prevent the same thing from happening again? This isn’t to say you’re taking the blame, or taking responsibility away from the other person. However, we don’t have to live as victims of others either.
5. Focus on the present. Now that you’ve reflected on the past, realize that the past is over. It isn’t happening anymore, except in your mind. Bring your focus back to the present. Choose to find joy in what’s happening right now. Don’t allow yourself to relive the past.
Source: http://zenhabits.net/how-to-let-go-and-forgive/ (Adapted)
How to Forgive and Move On
1. Realise that your bitterness, hatred or resentment doesn’t affect the other person at all. In fact, they may not know how you feel, and if they do, they may not care.
2. Realise the best way to “win” and move on is to live the happiest and best life possible. There’s nothing to match doing something with your life, and feeling satisfied, and enjoying who you are.
3. Look for the silver lining in the cloud, and learn what you can from the bad experience. Often, it can make you a much better person – who is kinder, wiser, and with greater character.
4. Remember the people who were there for you, and who helped you to feel much better about things. Focus on their qualities – and not the other person’s!
5. Be compassionate and understanding with yourself. Emotional wounding always takes its toll on you. It leaves you feeling beaten, and torn up inside.
6. Decide not to think about the story again. You’re hurting yourself more by going over it. Choose to thing about the people who bring joy to your life, and the life experiences that leave you feeling proud.
7. Remember that the meaning of “forgiveness” is “untie” … And you want to be free from that person and the pain. So, decide to untie yourself, and move on with your life.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
Once someone’s hurt you, it’s harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. But it doesn’t stop you from wanting them.
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.
I want to be the kind of person who can … move on and forgive people and be healthy and happy. It seems like an easy thing to do in my head. But it’s not so easy when you try it in real life.
The person who is hardest to forgive is the one who can teach you the greatest lessons.
It’s not just other people we need to forgive. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.
