COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged emotional intelligence

1,948 notes

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to identify and manage your emotions in a positive way – and to effectively handle the emotions of others in your life. It consists of four key abilities:

1. The ability to be self-aware– This is being able to identify, understand and handle both your positive and negative emotions. It includes being aware of your “buttons” or your triggers, and knowing when you need to step back and regroup.

2. The ability to manage powerful feelings and reactions – This is being able to control impulsive feelings so you respond in a healthy, constructive ways. Also, being able to adapt to unexpected demands, or to changes to your plans at the drop of a hat.

3. Being socially aware – Having the ability to read and understand the needs, concerns and emotions of others. This includes being sensitive to body language, and picking up on social rules. (This applies to group dynamics and cultural norms, as well.)

4.Being able to relate effectively to others – Being able to build and maintain relationships, to communicate clearly and effectively, to work with other people as part of a team, and being able to apply conflict resolution skills.

 In summary, EQ is related to acquiring skills in the following areas:

Skill 1: Being able to quickly reduce our personal stress.

Skill 2: Being aware of, and in tune with our feelings at all times – so we remain their master, and can choose how we will be.

Skill 3: Being able to connect with the people in our lives through the use of body language, or nonverbal messages.

Skill 4: Being able to use humor to dissipate emotions and deal with the problems and the challenges we face.

Skill 5: Being skilled in problem solving and conflict resolution.

 

Filed under emotional intelligence emotions communication skills counseling psychology therapy relationships mental health education self help self improvement online counselling college

677 notes

How to come across as being open and warm

1. Pay attention to your non-verbal cues. Don’t cross your arms, look away, or appear to be distracted when other people are speaking. Instead, smile, maintain steady eye contact, and nod your head in agreement with the speaker.

2.  Listen carefully to what is being said. Don’t rush ahead and rehearse your response – and never interrupt, or talk over the speaker.

3. Ask open questions as these generate more than a “yes” or “no” response. More specifically, ask questions about areas that interest the speaker, and stay with the topic for as long as you can.

4. Be honest and real when you’re asked for your opinion – but make sure you’re polite and respectful when you answer.

5. Look for ways to connect with the speaker as that will make the conversation easier. For example, we can usually find things we have in common - like school, music, sports, the desire to travel or favourite books, films and TV shows.  

6. Ignore how you feel - and act as if you’re confident (and you’ll likely find your feelings start to change as well).

7. Don’t judge yourself or the person who is speaking – simply stay in the moment, and what is happening now.    

8. Be patient with yourself, relax and take your time. You won’t change overnight – but at least you’ve made a start!

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships self help self improvement emotional intelligence mental health online counselling college

405 notes

How to Succeed in Relationships

1. Pay attention to the way you react to others. Are you quick to form judgments before hearing all the facts?  Do you tend to stereotype people? Try and stand back and analyse your interactions with other people. Is there anything you should change, or do differently? Try putting yourself in their place, and thinking about their outlooks, opinions and needs.

2. What are you like at work or school? Do you try to get attention and be noticed for your successes? It is possible to be humble and self-confident at the same time. When you are humble, you focus on the successes of others. However, you’re also aware of your gifts and strengths, and are quietly confident about your abilities to work well, do a good job, and achieve success.

3. Be open to admitting you may have some weaknesses! All of us have areas we could work on, and improve. Admitting you’re not perfect is not the same as feeling as if you’re a failure. Do an honest self-evaluation and try to turn your weaknesses into strengths?

4. Look at the way your deal with stress, and how you react to stressful situations. Do you get annoyed and upset every time there’s a delay or your plans get frustrated? Do you take the role of victim and start blaming others? Being able to regulate your emotions and stay calm and composed in tough situations is a mark of high emotional intelligence. This is key for succeeding in relationships, at school and in the business world.

5. Be willing to accept responsibility for your actions. If you’ve hurt or upset someone, then admit it to yourself and apologise. Don’t just ignore or avoid the situation. Most people will respect you if you apologise – but you’ll lose respect if you act like nothing`s wrong.

6. Finally, always think about how your actions and words will affect other people. Is it going to make life easy or difficult for them? How would you feel if you were in their place? Then adapt and compromise so that everybody wins.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships emotional intelligence goals success inspiration motivation mental health self improvement self help online counselling college

1,934 notes

Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

The 5 key components of Emotional Intelligence are:

1. Self-Awareness – People who score highly on emotional intelligence are described as being high in self-awareness. They know what they are feeling and why; they know what triggers their emotions and what their instinctive response is likely to be. This self-understanding puts them in control, so they choose their responses – and aren’t ruled by their passions. People who are high in self-awareness can take an honest and objective look at themselves. They know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and they use this knowledge to get the most out of life.

2. Self-Regulation – This is the ability to manage your emotions and to take control of your impulses. People who are strong in this area rarely demonstrate poor judgment, make impulsive decisions, or are gripped by out of control emotions (such as being overwhelmingly jealous, or experiencing fits of rage). Instead, they are able to think before they speak or act. They also have the ability to say no to themselves and others.

3. Motivation – Self motivation is another trait associated with high emotional intelligence. It means loving a challenge, and being able to push through obstacles and difficulties to achieve a goal that is important to you.  Highly motivated individuals are able to sacrifice immediate satisfaction for the purpose of achieving long-term success. They’re highly productive and are generally effective at whatever they do.

4. Empathy – This is being able to walk in another person’s shoes and to see the world from their perspective.  Empathic individuals have excellent people skills. They are good at recognising and being sensitive to the feelings and viewpoints of others.  They are good listeners; they don’t box and stereotype people; and are good at managing relationships. They are experienced as being honest, open and real.

5. Social Skills – People with good social skills are easy to talk to. You feel good around them as they listen well, give you their full and undivided attention, and are interested in you and your opinions. They are excellent team players as they help others shine, and their focus is on other people’s talents and strengths. In addition to this, they tend to be good communicators and negotiators.  

Filed under counselling psychology therapy emotional intelligence relationships mental health communication communication skills self improvement self help goals success online counselling college

59 notes

Emotional Intelligence: The Other Kind of ‘Smart’

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to identify and manage your emotions in a positive way – and to effectively handle the emotions of others in your life. It consists of four key abilities:

1.    The ability to be self-aware– This is being able to identify, understand and handle both your positive and negative emotions. It includes being aware of your “buttons” or your triggers, and knowing when you need to step back and regroup.

2.    The ability to manage powerful feelings and reactions – This is being able to control impulsive feelings so you respond in a healthy, constructive ways. Also, being able to adapt to unexpected demands, or to changes to your plans at the drop of a hat.

3.    Being socially aware – Having the ability to read and understand the needs, concerns and emotions of others. This includes being sensitive to body language, and picking up on social rules. (This applies to group dynamics and cultural norms, as well.)

4.    Being able to relate effectively to others – Being able to build and maintain relationships, to communicate clearly and effectively, to work with other people as part of a team, and being able to apply conflict resolution skills.

However, developing your emotional intelligence is different from acquiring intellectual skills. It is sensory learning that must be applied to real-life situations and relationships. In summary, EQ is related to acquiring skills in the following areas:

Skill 1: Being able to quickly reduce our personal stress.

Skill 2: Being aware of, and in tune with our feelings at all times – so we remain their master, and can choose how we will be.

Skill 3: Being able to connect with the people in our lives through the use of body language, or nonverbal messages.

Skill 4: Being able to use humor to dissipate emotions and deal with the problems and the challenges we face.

Skill 5: Being skilled in problem solving and conflict resolution.

Each skill must be applied in a sensitive way, so they’re experienced as positive and life giving. This is something we can keep working on, and successfully develop, and continue to refine over time.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy emotional intelligence EQ coaching communication skills relationships online counselling college