COUNSELLING BLOG

Posts tagged counselling

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10 Things that can Wreck your Life

1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.

2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let the heartache from the past define who you become.

3. Running away from problems. It’s crazy just to bury your head in the sand and act like are fine when you’re dealing with a mess. Face reality, take action and work to turn life round.

4. Being ungrateful. Being thankful sets you free in your heart and mind. It inspires all that’s good - and, also, oils relationships. But an ungrateful person will wear others down. It destroys your spirit, so you feel down and depressed.

5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive, and bearing grudges against others, will slowly poison your life and your personality. It’s much better to release them and to focus, instead, on living a happy and fulfilling life.

6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to plan – and people disappoint us and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.

7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Every single person deserves respect, and every single person is fighting their own battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.

8. Neglecting important relationship. A relationship that’s built on unconditional love – where a person accepts us for who and what we are – is truly a gift and is worth fighting for. Don’t take it for granted – recognise that it’s a gift.

9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not every person will build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down, or who want to hurt you, or destroy your confidence.

10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, you’ll find you end up going nowhere. You must be ready to take risks - or you will miss so much in life.

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The Four Faces of Introversion

1. Shy-secure people: Don’t have a strong need to be around people, and don’t tend to worry about talking to new people. They can socialise if they need to, but they general prefer to be by themselves and to do things on their own.

2. Shy-withdrawn people: Suffer from social anxiety. They are highly sensitive to perceived rejection, are anxious of negative evaluation, and are afraid of doing something embarrassing. They suffer more anxiety than other types of shy individuals. (nos 1, 3 & 4)

3. Shy-dependent people: Are overly helpful, accommodating, self-effacing and compliant. They have a strong need to be with other people but they feel they are inferior or “not good enough”. They have good social skills and are pleasant company – but they give up their true self in their desire to fit in.

4. Shy-conflicted people: Vacillate between wanting to be around other people and then pulling back (as social situations are a real source of stress). This group of people experience the most stress and anxiety.

For more information see: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/200909/all-introversion-is-not-the-same

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Tips for Managing Intense, Negative Feelings

1. Try to figure out what is causing you to feel so awful, ashamed, or down.
2. Talk to someone you think will understand.
3. Identify and accept the feelings that you have (They’re not right or wrong … it’s simply how you feel right now.)
4. Express your feelings in a safe, non-threatening way.
5. Related to this, think of ways to manage them effectively so that you don’t feel quite so bad, and so completely overwhelmed.
6. Try to get some space, or a change of scenery.
7. Avoid being with people who demand too much from you (especially those who drain you emotionally.)

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If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve to never ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it’s one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you’ll ever do.
Stephen Fry

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How to Cope with Mood Swings

1. Make sure you get enough sleep. A recent study by the U.S. Mental Health Association and the Better Sleep Council identified a relationship between positive moods and sleeping between 6 and 8 hours a night. Regular bedtimes were also important.

2. Keep your bedroom as dark as possible as this stimulates production of melatonin. (Low melatonin levels are linked with depression.)

3. Make sure you have a diet that supports brain health. For example, the following nutrients have been shown to promote more stable moods: B-complex vitamins, vitamin E, calcium, magnesium, zinc and fatty acids. Also, rapid changes in blood sugar can also precipitate changes in mood, so watch your consumption of refined sugar products, and make sure you eat lots of complex carbohydrates.

4. Try some natural remedies. Chamomile, lemon balm or valerian root tea are recommended for helping with anxiety. St. John’s wort is said to soothe the mind and relieve irritability. In terms of homeopathic remedies, lycopodium is believed to help with anger, and feelings of agitation; tarentula hispanica is used for mania; and chaste berry, red raspberry, black cohosh and sarsaparilla may help with female hormonal mood swings.

5. Include some regular exercise in your daily schedules. This releases endorphins, the feel good hormones. It also helps with insomnia.

6. Try and identify coping mechanisms that can ward off or soothe fluctuations in mood. Also, keeping a journal of negative triggers can help you interrupt a pattern early on, and work on strategies for coping with these triggers.

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