Posts tagged counselling

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Tips to Help you Focus

1. Get rid of as many distractions as you can. Switch off your phone; close tumblr and facebook; work away from other people – and don’t tell them where you are!

2. Make sure you’ve attended to your physical needs or else they’ll distract you - as you’ll feel uncomfortable. For example, wear relaxing clothes; set the room temperature so that it’s not too hot or cold; and have a snack and some water close at hand.

3. Plan to work at a time when you’re usually most productive. For example, if you’re a morning person, set your alarm and get up early – and make that a pattern, no matter how you feel.

4. Take control of, and silence, that restless inner voice that tries to distract you, and stops you focusing. Also. sometimes it is helpful to set aside some time to listen to those voices – then return and do some work.

5. Allow yourself a break after each half hour of work as it’s difficult to concentrate for longer than that.

6. Get outside for a while and try to do some exercise as that wakens you up and helps you focus on your work.

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Do you have a wandering mind?

1. Research shows that our mind wanders about 30% of the time. It occurs regardless of what we are doing – sitting in a lecture, driving the car, cooking dinner, or talking to a friend.

2. Everybody’s mind wanders regularly. It takes concentrated effort to stay on task.

3. Having a wandering mind is different from daydreaming. Day dreaming involves having stray thoughts, random fantasies, or briefly indulges in wishes and “what if” scenarios. In contrast, a wandering mind is where we allow our mind to think about something specific, which is different from the task in front of us right now.

3. A wandering mind can actually be a good thing. It allows part of our brain to focus on one thing while freeing other parts to also think through other goals, responsibilities and tasks.

4. However, a wandering mind can be a bad thing, too. It can cause us to miss important facts and details, and to zone out when something really needs our full, and undivided, attention.

5. Research conducted by the UC, Santa Barbara shows that people whose minds tend to wander more are often more creative and better problem solvers.

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7 Life Lessons

1. Let go of anger. When we erupt in anger we often feel much worse. Hence, it’s better to cool off and to work on staying calm.

2. When people treat you badly it’s rarely “about you”. More often it tells you how that person is feeling, or some other issue that is bothering them.

3. You’re not the only one who has struggled with this issue – so don’t feel so awful, or put yourself down.

4. Enjoy the good times and savour every moment as life is a precious gift to be enjoyed.

5. Work and be persistent as it’s worth the slog and pain. In the end it makes a difference as the pay off is success.

6. You need to find a passion and set yourself some goals if you want to go somewhere, and makes something of life.

7. All relationships can teach us so much about ourselves. Both the good and the bad show us who we really are. They reveal what we think, and how we feel, about ourselves – as well as what our values and our expectations are.

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6 Types of Loneliness

There are 6 main types of loneliness:

1. Interpersonal loneliness: This is the result of losing a significant, or intimate, relationship.

2. Social loneliness: This is where a person is on the fringes of a group, excluded from a group, or is actively rejected.

3. Cultural loneliness: This is where a person belongs to a different culture and feels that they don’t fit, or belong, in the new culture.

4. Intellectual loneliness: This is where a person feels intellectually, or educationally, out of synch with their peers, their family or their social group.

5. Psychological loneliness: This is where a person has experienced a trauma that separates them out from others around them. That is, it’s something other people can’t fully understand.

6. Existential or cosmic loneliness: This is an isolating loneliness experienced by a person who is facing death.

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Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself.
Janet Fitch

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