Welcome to the official tumblr of The Online Counselling College.

Disclaimer: The information
contained in posts does not necessarily reflect the views of the Online Counselling College. They are for information only and cannot provide a formal diagnosis. If you require help with any mental health issues please contact a registered counsellor, doctor or psychiatrist.

Also, all posts on this blog are copyright of The Online Counselling College (unless otherwise sourced). They can be reblogged on Tumblr but may not be reproduced or uploaded without permission.

Unfortunately, we are unable to provide personal advice or counselling to our readers.

Happy reading, and have a great day!

Flag Counter


For more information on the college, visit our website: www.onlinecounsellingcollege.com

 

“No one will ever fully be able to understand the internal battles you had to endure just to heal, just to grow, just to make it here today. Be proud of the way you fought to save yourself. Be proud of the way you survived.” -
Bianca Sparacion

7 Quick Tips for Changing a Negative Mood

1. Change your environment, or leave the room.

2. Switch your thinking, or redirect your thoughts

3. Go outside and get some exercise

4. Listen to the music which usually lifts your mood

5. Look at the old photographs which always make you laugh

6. Text or call a friend who’s really going through tough times

7. Be nice to a stranger – play it forward – and be kind.

“You are not just here to fill space or be a background character in someone else’s movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.” - David Niven

10 Relationship Killers

1. Breaking trust

2. Lack of respect

3. Jealousy

4. Angry outburst/ high volatility

5. Making assumptions

6. Unreasonable expectations

7. Bitterness

8. Unforgiveness

9. Being cold and uncaring

10.Failing to prioritize your partner.

Avoidant (or Anxious) Personality Disorder

This is very similar to generalized social phobia. Those with the disorder think of themselves as being inadequate, unlikeable and socially inept. They fear being rejected, criticised or ridiculed and would rather avoid most social situations. The reasons can differ may be related to emotional neglect and peer group rejection in childhood and/ or adolescence

Symptoms may include the following:

- Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism

- Self-imposed social isolation

- Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations. (However, the person still has a strong desire for close and meaningful relationships)

- May avoid physical contact with others (because it is associated with emotional or physical pain)

- Painful feelings of inadequacy

- Poor self-esteem

- Intense feelings of self consciousness

- Self hatred or self-loathing

- Mistrust of others

- Emotional distancing/ fear of intimacy

- Highly critical of their ability to relate naturally and appropriately to others

- Do not feel they can connect with others (although others may view them as easy to relate to)

- Intense feelings of inferiority.

In more extreme cases, may suffer from agoraphobia.

Treatment approaches include social skills training, cognitive therapy, gradually increasing exposure to social situations, group therapy and, occasionally, drug therapy. Gaining and keeping the client’s trust is essential for progress to be made.

6 Steps to Accepting Yourself

1. Accept that everybody makes mistakes. It’s part of learning, and the main way we grow.

2. Accept your body as it gives you life. Choose to love and to nourish it. Also, every single body is different and unique. So, choose to find and focus on those features you love most.

3. Accept that you can’t change what happened in the past. But that was then – and this is now – so look to the future, and let go of the past.

4. Accept that others can think what they like – and sometimes their opinions will be hurtful and wrong. But they don’t know your story – and their judgments may be false – so ignore what they are saying, and get on with your own life.

5. Accept that your life is your responsibility. Your thoughts, opinions, and what you say and you do. And be aware of the consequences of those, too.

6. Accept where you’re at in your journey in life. Be patient, understanding, and kind to yourself.

Emotional Wellness

If you want to boost your emotional health then build the following into your life:

1. Develop a good group of friends. If possible, try to have a wide group of friends. Then, if someone moves away, or you change your school or hobbies, you’ll still have a healthy support system in place.

2. Learn to appreciate solitude. Isolation isn’t the same as solitude. Isolation is being cut off from others for negative reasons; solitude is enjoying space and time for yourself. It allows you to recharge your batteries.

3. Invest time in getting fit. People who are fit and healthy generally feel better about themselves. Also, exercise releases feel-good hormones so we feel happier, more optimistic and relaxed.

4. Allow yourself to goof off and have a laugh. Too much work will drain your energy.

5. Discover your passion and invest time in that. We all have something that brings us alive, and seems to resonate with who we are inside.

6. Plan for difficulties and problems. We all encounter problems and hard times in this life. Expecting that to happen helps us feel more in control.

7. Work on increasing your self-awareness. If we can learn about ourselves, and our natural tendencies, we can learn to master weaknesses, and work to change and grow.

8. Be willing to take risks. Though it’s hard to step out into unknown territory, you’ll find it’s more rewarding to stretch yourself, and grow.

9. Watch out for energy vampires. There are people who tend to drain your time and energy. Learn to practice selfcare by having healthy boundaries.

10. Ask for help when you need it. We all need support and encouragement at times. Also, offer help to others when their life is difficult.

How to Build Emotional Resilience

1. Talk to someone: Sharing how we feel helps to reduce the inner tension (but make sure it is someone who cares about your feelings).

2. Work on improving your self-esteem: Self-esteem is the way you see and feel about yourself … and there are lots of lots of things that undermine our self esteem. For example, experiencing a break up, putting on unwanted weight, doing badly on a test or being excluded by our friends. It’s important that we keep on working on our self-esteem by treating ourselves well and noticing when we succeed (instead of noticing the negatives).

3. Manage your stress levels: If we’re always feelings stressed then it’s hard to cope with life. We tend to over react and have a negative mind set This drains us of our energy and saps our will to fight. So take a look at your lifestyle and see what you can drop. You may be doing too much, and don’t have time to relax.

4. Make the time and effort to enjoy yourself: Doing things that we enjoy helps to improve the way we feel. So build in little things like having coffee with a friend.

5. Choose a healthy life style: Pay attention to your diet and how much you exercise. Try to limit alcohol, and don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

6. Develop good relationships: Do your friends make you happy? Do you enjoy their company? Are they kind of people who care about your heart? Do they treat you with respect and help to boost your self-esteem? If not, then maybe it is time to look for other friends.

7 Anger Management Tips

1. Think before you speak as you can’t take back your words.

2. Don’t say anything until you’re feeling calm. We often regret what we say when we are mad.

3. Be simple and clear when you express what bothered you. Don’t be disrespectful, rude or hyper-critical.

4. Choose to leave the room or to distract yourself when you feel your emotions are really being stirred.

5. Try, if you can, to get some exercise as that reduces stress, and changes physiology.

6. Think about the people you enjoy being with, as that will remind you that not everyone is bad.

7. Try to plan ahead so you have some strategies when you feel the anger rising, and you need to take control.

“Human beings grow best with encouragement and love. Today let every word you speak (to yourself and others) be filled with kindness.” - Cheryl Richardson

Happiness Tips

1. Experiment to see what makes you happy.

2. Hang out with people who are happy and upbeat – as other people affect the way we feel.

3. Make a list of your blessings – don’t focus on “what’s wrong”.

4. Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness. Add to your list several times a day.

5. Focus on solutions instead of on your problems.

6. Make time to connect with the people you love.

7. Accept the way that you and others are. Growth and change don’t happen instantly.

8. Take time to enjoy the moment. Savour what you can from the small things in life – a sunrise, a rainbow, or a giggling child.

9. Remind yourself often that “this, too, will pass”. Hard times and trials are only temporary.

10. Follow your passions as they reflect who you are, and are a natural source of fulfillment and joy.

11. Engage in random acts of kindness.

12. Try to smile and laugh and often as you can.

“I still get very high and very low in life. Daily. but I’ve finally accepted the fact that sensitive is just how I was made, that I don’t have to hide it, and I don’t have to fix it. I’m not broken.” - HPYLRIKZ.COM

“Like most sensitive souls, you already know you’re sensitive. You soak up others’ moods and desires like a sponge. You absorb sensation the way a paintbrush grasps each color it touches on a palette.” - Victoria Erickson