Posts tagged Insight
Posts tagged Insight
1. Memory is unreliable and only partially accurate.
2. Instead of storing memories like reels of film, we reconstruct them every time they come to mind. Thus details often change over time, and we falsely remember things that never occurred.
3. Later experiences affect old memories. Thus, if our parents are mean during our teenage years, we may remember them as always having been cold and unloving (even although may not actually be true).
4. We fill in any gaps with made up memories. For example, if we can’t remember who was at a team event we remember it was all the usual crowd – even though some of them may not have been there.
5. Language can affect what we remember. For example, this is often used during criminal trials where lawyers present witnesses with leading questions (and thus trick them into misremembering the “facts”).
1. Take time to ponder the questions “What really matters in life; what do I want to have achieved when I look back over my life?”
2. Make time for solitude and silence. Filling every minute makes it hard to listen to our intuition, or that inner guiding voice.
3. Seek out people who inspire you – and then learn from them. There are many people who live inspiring lives. We can learn from their experience, and what they have to share.
4. Consciously monitor your progress. It is easy to slip back into unproductive habits. Hence, we need to be committed to sticking to our plan.
5. Accept that struggles and setbacks will be part of your experience. There will be times when you are tempted to give up and stop trying … but choosing to keep going will lead you to your dreams.
Blue: Makes the people around you feel at ease. Dark blues are great for interviews and lighter blues for parties and social events.
Red: The colour we associate with passion. Research conducted by the University of Rochester found that men were more attracted to, and turned on by, women who wearing ruby red clothing. Again, this is great for parties – but not always at work.
Purple: This brings out our creativity, and is associated with self confidence, independent thinking and class. Purple is appropriate on almost any occasion.
Black: Conveys authority, so that people see you as being powerful, confident and competent. It is the colour of choice of authority figures (like the police), or for stylists, trend setters and icons.
Orange: This luscious, exuberant colour sends the message that the wearer is friendly, sociable, relaxed, and approachable. It’s great for social events – but not for important business meetings.
Green: This is the colour of happiness and contentment. It can be an instant mood changer, putting others around you at their ease. It is great for all occasions, and can be worn in both the daytime and the evening.
Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.
1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.
2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.
3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by old, painful memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”
4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those old memories return.
5. Seek to be a person who’s at peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.
6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply - and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; you’re not living in the past.
7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an ease process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle - as one day you’ll be free.