COUNSELLING BLOG

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Relationship Issues: Healthy versus Unhealthy Boundaries

The following comparisons highlight the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries.

Healthy: Being your own person.

Unhealthy: Feeling incomplete without the other person.

Healthy: Accepting responsibility for your own happiness.

Unhealthy: Relying on others (especially your partner) to make you happy.

Healthy: Being able to balance separateness and togetherness.

Unhealthy: Wanting either too much or too little togetherness.

Healthy: Having meaningful friendships outside the partnership.

Unhealthy: Being unable to build and maintain close friendships with others.

Healthy: Being able to see and focus on your own, and your partner’s, good points.

Unhealthy: Always focusing on your partner’s flaws and worst qualities.

Healthy: Achieving intimacy without the use of substances.

Unhealthy: Using substances to reduce your inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy.

Healthy: Communicating in a way that is open and real.

Unhealthy: Playing games; being manipulative; not being willing to listen in a non-defensive way.

Healthy: Being loyal and committed to your partner.

Unhealthy: Displaying jealousy and relationship addiction; being uncommitted to your partner.

Healthy: Respecting and accepting the ways in which you and your partner are different.

Unhealthy: Blaming and criticising your partner for having different traits and qualities from you.

Healthy: Being open and asking for what you want, in a clear and unambiguous way.

Unhealthy: Being unable to ask for what you want.

Healthy: Accepting transitions and endings.

Unhealthy: Being unable to change, let go and move on.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships boundaries self help self improvement mental health love online counselling college

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