1. You find yourself constantly walking on egg shells. You live defensively, trying desperately to not upset others (especially a partner).
2. You are terrified of confronting others, and avoid disagreements and conflict at all costs.
3. You always accommodate the wishes of others when you are making choices and decisions for yourself. What others want takes precedence - and your wants are repressed.
4. You find yourself constantly telling white lies in order to avoid conflict with others, or to avoid sparking their anger.
5. You feel angry or annoyed with yourself for always letting others get their own way.
6. You blame yourself when other people get angry and upset.
7. You deny, cover up, or protect others from their damaging behaviours (such as concealing their over-drinking, drug abuse, or violent tendencies).
8. You feel constantly hurt, disregarded and used by others.
9. You feel you have to put up with this mistreatment; you see it as a sacrifice you have to make.
10. You are unable to say “no”. You can’t stop helping, protecting or seeking to please the person you are in a co-dependent relationship with.
For more information see: Beattie, M. (186) Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Publisher: Hazelden)