COUNSELLING BLOG

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10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

The worst kind of heartache is the kind you inflict on yourself. If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel. 

2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge and experience you had.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break. 

3. Take your loved ones for granted – Someday there will be someone you miss dearly.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.

4. Let your ego get the best of you – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride. 

5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity. 

6. Join the negativity committee – The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.

7. Rush love – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.

8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay – If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.

9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts. 

10. Give up on yourself – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost and you want to turn back.  But breathe, focus on the road ahead, and keep moving forward.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/10/17/10-ways-to-break-your-own-heart/ (Abridged)

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships self esteem self help self improvement mental health online counselling college

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