It’s crucial for your safety that you know the warning signs:
· He/she blames you for their anger
(Note: There is a difference between having a bad day, and always being blamed for upsetting someone.)
· He/ she sees themselves as a helpless victim; they have no sense of personal responsibility
· He/ she has a substance abuse problem or addiction.
· He/ she has trouble managing intense feelings, such as anger and rage.
· He /she has a history of aggression and reacting violently.
· He/ she threatens you and others others regularly.
· He/ she insults you, puts you down and call you names.
· He/ she dictates your life – what you should wear, who you can spend time with, how you should act etc.
· He/ she tries to isolate you from family, friends or others who could help you (as they could influence how you see the abusive relationship).
· He/ she breaks, throws away, or “loses” items that matter to you when you upset them
· He/ she makes you doubt yourself and your sanity. For example, through blowing trivial things out of proportion so that they escalate into huge arguments. (This is believed to a form of mind control.)
· He/ she accuses you of creating imaginary problems in the relationship – just to provoke an argument.
· He/ she says derogatory and hurtful things to you - but later says that you imagined it.
· You start doing things you don’t want to do just to stop them getting angry with you, or ending the relationship.