COUNSELLING BLOG

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Tips to Help with “Not Taking Offense”

1. Try and get a broader perspective on what happened – and then talk yourself out of taking offense. For example, perhaps the meaning or intention you attached to what happened is unfairly negative, or slightly skewed. Also, sometimes our demands and expectations are too high, as people are imperfect and make lots of mistakes.

2. Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Are there things going on in their life right now that may have influenced what they said, or did?

3. Unless there is evidence to the contrary, make an effort to assume a benevolent motive.  Often, we’re clumsy and inept in the way we say and do things – but our motives aren’t evil or designed to offend. Thus, before you react, try and understand the motive.

4. Try to work on emotional detachment. Separate out criticisms of your work, or your words - from who you are as a person - at the very core. Criticism of our actions, or our comments, or our work, should not compromise and undermine our sense of self. That is, we shouldn’t be destroyed or crushed by comments like that.

5. Don’t jump to conclusions, and don’t take it personally. People have a right to their own views and opinions – but it’s only a part, not the whole, of the story. Thus, balance up their perspective by thinking about others who see you in a positive, more favourable light.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy relationships life offense self improvement self help self esteem mental health online counselling college

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    This douche I knew. He should have followed #3. I rarely - if ever - say *anything* that I actually mean in offense. I...
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    I always take everything personally
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    1. Try and get a broader perspective on what happened – and then talk yourself out of taking offense. For example,...
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