COUNSELLING BLOG

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7 Ingredients for a Happy Life

1. Decide to let go of worry and “what ifs”

2. Work on developing your self-confidence

3. Forgive yourself, and others, and let go of grievances

4. Be open and warm in your relationships

5. Don’t compare yourself with other people

6. Define own success

7. Be optimistic, and keep on persevering.

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6 Steps in Learning to Love Yourself

1. See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.

6. Appreciate your life. Of course there are things that you wish that you could change. But some things are good, and are worth appreciating. So, focus on, appreciate, and make lots of your strengths.

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Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self-Esteem

1. Social withdrawal

2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil

3. Lack of social skills and self confidence,

4. Depression and bouts of sadness

5. Less social conformity

6. Eating disorders

7. Inability to accept compliments

8. An inability to see yourself “squarely” - to be fair to ypurself

9. Accentuating the negative

10. Exaggerated concern over what you think other people think

11. Self neglect

12. Treating yourself badly, but not other people

13. Reluctance to take on challenges

14. Reluctance to put yourself first - or anywhere

15. Reluctance to trust your own opinion

16. Expecting little out of life for yourself

Source: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-ten-facts-about-low-self-esteem/

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10 Things that can Wreck your Life

1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.

2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let the heartache from the past define who you become.

3. Running away from problems. It’s crazy just to bury your head in the sand and act like are fine when you’re dealing with a mess. Face reality, take action and work to turn life round.

4. Being ungrateful. Being thankful sets you free in your heart and mind. It inspires all that’s good - and, also, oils relationships. But an ungrateful person will wear others down. It destroys your spirit, so you feel down and depressed.

5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive, and bearing grudges against others, will slowly poison your life and your personality. It’s much better to release them and to focus, instead, on living a happy and fulfilling life.

6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to plan – and people disappoint us and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.

7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Every single person deserves respect, and every single person is fighting their own battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.

8. Neglecting important relationship. A relationship that’s built on unconditional love – where a person accepts us for who and what we are – is truly a gift and is worth fighting for. Don’t take it for granted – recognise that it’s a gift.

9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not every person will build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down, or who want to hurt you, or destroy your confidence.

10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, you’ll find you end up going nowhere. You must be ready to take risks - or you will miss so much in life.

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