COUNSELLING BLOG

805 notes

How to Build Emotional Resilience

1. Talk to someone: Sharing how we feel helps to reduce the inner tension (but make sure it is someone who cares about your feelings).

2. Work on improving your self-esteem: Self-esteem is the way you see and feel about yourself … and there are lots of lots of things that undermine our self esteem. For example, experiencing a break up, putting on unwanted weight, doing badly on a test or being excluded by our friends. It’s important that we keep on working on our self-esteem by treating ourselves well and noticing when we succeed (instead of noticing the negatives).

3. Manage your stress levels: If we’re always feelings stressed then it’s hard to cope with life. We tend to over react and have a negative mind set … which drains us of our energy and saps our will to fight. So take a look at your lifestyle and see what you can drop. You may be doing too much, and don’t have time to relax.

4. Make the time and effort to enjoy yourself: Doing things that we enjoy helps to improve the way we feel. So build in little things like having coffee with a friend, or going to a game, or taking time to watch some sports.

5. Choose a healthy life style: Pay attention to your diet and how much you exercise; try to limit alcohol, and don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

6. Develop good relationships: Do your friends make you happy? Do you enjoy their company? Are they kind of people with your best interests at heart? Do they treat you with respect and help to boost your self-esteem? If not, then work on finding new relationships!

Filed under counselling psychology therapy self improvement inspiration motivation self esteem mental health mental illness relationships online counselling college

714 notes

Insights into Self-loathing

Self-loathing, also known as “autophobia” or self-hatred”, is a thought pattern where individuals believe they are inferior, bad, worthless, unlovable, or incompetent. It is associated with low self-esteem and low self worth. Other symptoms of self-loathing include chemical dependency, alcohol & drug abuse, self-harm, self-destructive promiscuity, fits of rage and dissociation.

Self-loathing is one of the central characteristics of people who suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder. It is also common in those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Self-loathing is common among people who grew up in an unsupportive family environment where there was child abuse, neglect, emotional trauma or chronic criticism.

It can be something that appears from time to time, or it may be suddenly triggered by disappointments, struggles, painful memories or anxiety about the future. These triggers can create an overwhelming flood of feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness and powerlessness - which can lead to self-destructive behaviors, emotional withdrawal or aggressive behaviors.

Examples of statements indicating self-loathing include:

- “Nobody loves me”

- “Things will never get any better.”

- “I’m useless. I always screw everything up.”

- “He/she could never really love the real me.”

Source: http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/SelfLoathing.html (adapted)

Filed under counselling psychology therapy self loathing self hatred self esteem mental health mental illness self improvement online counselling college

976 notes

Steps for Dealing with Emotional Pain

1. Refuse to see yourself in all-or-nothing terms (as you’re not all good and you’re not all bad)
2. Refuse to let the past define you
3. Refuse to let mistakes and weaknesses define you
4 .Refuse to let your scars and your pain define you
5. Refuse to let rejection define you
6. Refuse to let others peoples’ opinions define you
7. Believe you can be free, and have a different life
8. Imagine yourself free – being who you’d like to be
9. Whenever the old thoughts and emotions overwhelm, think of this new you, and a new future instead
10. Take one small step and choose to walk towards that better life and future you’ve chosen for yourself.

Filed under counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation goals success mental health mental illness love relationships pain online counselling college

609 notes

How to Develop Contentment

1. Spend time with contented people, and those who are grateful for what they have in life.
2. Choose to celebrate the good things in life, even when things are tough, or much harder than you’d like.
3. Brighten up the lives of others you encounter with random acts of kindness – and helping when you can.
4. Be the kind of person who often “plays it forward” and is caring, understanding, patient, warm and generous.
5. Live in the moment and just enjoy “right now” – and be fully present with the people in your life.
6. Think of all the people who have helped along the way, and added to your life, or have been a source of joy.
7. Make a list of all the list things that you are thankful for – from a sunset, to hot chocolate, to a warm bed to sleep in.

Filed under conetentment counselling psychology therapy inspiration motivation self improvement relationships goals success happiness mental health online counselling college