1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment.
2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?” This lets the person know it’s not a good time. However, you also convey your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.
3. “I’d love to do this, but …” This is a gentle way of saying no. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea but I can’t take part due to other reasons, such as prior commitments.
4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.”
This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this.
5. “This doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for now - but I’ll keep you in mind.” Sometimes it is just best to turn the person/ offer down. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on and on.
6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?” Again, sometimes it is best to say you’re the wrong person to help etc. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on instead.
7. “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say no.
1. No matter how long it takes, and how beaten down you are, refuse to give in, or to relinquish your dream. Just get up one more time and then decide to try again.
2. We all slip up, and encounter obstacles. Just determine to keep going, and to get on track again. It doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s all part of the course.
3. We all need support and encouragement in life – so eliminate the negative, or toxic, influences. You don’t need those people who are quick to criticise, and don’t really help you to move closer to your dream.
4. Surround yourself with people who are similar to you, who have the same ambitions, outlooks and points of view. They’ll help to spur you onwards, and provide support you need.
5. Be inspired by other people who overcame defeat … who built a life from nothing … or turned their life around. Learn from their perseverance, and their will to succeed.
6. Imagine how you’ll feel when you’ve reached the goal you’ve set. Try and picture what you’ll look like, and how your life will be.
“Often we fall in love with a person we think we love only to discover that, for them, we are just someone to pass time with. And all the while, the person who truly loves us either remains a stranger or a casual friend. So here’s a piece of advice: don’t settle for the person who’s only passing time. Take your time, and be sure. Your life is too precious to waste on the wrong person.”—
“I think that you find your own way. You have your own rules. You have your own understanding of yourself, and that’s what you’re going to count on. In the end, it’s what feels right to you … Not what anybody else tells you.”—Meryl Streep
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”—Mitch Albom
1. Begin by imagining your dreams have come true. What would your life look like? What would you be doing? How would you be making money? Where would you be living? What would you be doing in your spare time? What sorts of people would you be with?
2. Try reading some inspirational blogs, autobiographies or self help books. Often those help to uncover our passions, and the kind of person we really want to be.
3. Surround yourself with positive and motivated people … Those who know what they want and are consciously going after it.
4. Take up a hobby that really interests you. There’s usually a reason that we’re drawn to that.
5. Ask other people who know you well, what they think would suit your personality. You’ll often be surprised by the kinds of things you learn.
6. Decide to “face your fears and do it anyway”. Don’t live a narrow life because you’re plagued by fear.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”—Jodi Picoult
1. Treat other people with understanding and respect – and usually you will find they do the same for you, too. But even if they don’t, you’ll leave a positive impression, and others will notice you’re a quality person.
2. Be courteous and polite – it doesn’t take much extra effort. But your “pleases” and your “thank yous” will help to open doors for you.
3. Be warm and pleasant, smile and spread some joy around. Choose to be more optimistic, laugh, and share some happiness.
4. Try to work well with others when you’re part of a team. No-one likes a headstrong person who just wants things done their way. Pull your weight, co-operate, and share the credit with the team.
5. Apologize when you need to – as we all make some mistakes. And you’ll find that others like those who admit when they are wrong.
6. Compliment other people in a real and genuine way. We all have things that we are proud of. Praise the good – don’t criticize.
7. Listen well and show an interest in what others have to say. It sends the message “you’re important”, builds a bridge, and shows you care.
“An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function in a healthy way. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.”—Patricia Fry
1. Work on your nonverbal communication skills. Those are as important as the actual words you speak. Aim to come across as being warm, friendly, approachable, relaxed and self-confident.
2. Dress in accordance with the Company’s norms. If employees dress in a formal way, wear plain, business type clothing. If their style is more casual and relaxed, dress in more casual clothing, too. However, you should always look clean, tidy and smell fresh!
3. Listen carefully to what the interviewer says. Give them your full and undivided attention. Be attentive to their nonverbal cues, and communicate that you’ve heard what they have said.
4. Answer their questions as fully as you can – but don’t come across as being loud or talkative. Keep to the point, don’t ramble, and don’t say more than you need to say. However, include examples of your skills and experience to back up what you’re saying.
5. Remember that this is a professional setting. You need to keep a respectful distance. Be alert to appearing too forward and familiar. Let the interviewer take the initiative when it comes to asking questions and making conversation.
6. Only use appropriate language. Don’t swear, use slang, or any words that have double meanings or sexual connotations.
7. Have some knowledge of the Company and the position. Also, prepare a few brief questions to ask at the end so it looks as if you’re truly interested in the job (but don’t come across as being desperate to be hired.)
1. Believing negative, unproductive and self-defeating thoughts. These include thoughts like “I could never … I’m not good enough to … I don’t deserve to … I’m useless at …”
2. Blaming others. It’s true that other people can have a huge affect on what happens to us, and where we are in life. But we give them too much power if we let them set our course, and see ourselves as victims, and act like we’ve no say.
3. Taking ourselves too seriously. It’s important to work hard and to have integrity – but we also have to laugh and enjoy ourselves as well. Also, decide to let things go, and put up with some mistakes. You’re not a perfect person and, the truth is - that’s OK!
4. Being afraid to take some risks or to live close to the edge. To have an interesting life you must leave your comfort zone and say “yes” to some new chances and great opportunities. It will broaden your perspective, reduce anxiety, and provide you with new options and possibilities.
5. Being afraid of change. It doesn’t take much effort to stick with what you know. The unknown can seem daunting as we don’t know where that goes. But we grow as individuals and lead a richer life if we learn to accept changes, instead of being scared.
1. Go through – don’t hide from - the experience. You need to fully experience all the negative emotions before the healing process can begin.
2. Allow yourself to wallow in your independence. Don’t rush into a new relationship. You don’t need another person to make you feel complete. You’re enough in yourself. You are NOT inadequate.
3. Make a list of your strengths. It’s important that you focus on your good qualities as a broken heart can cause our self-esteem to plummet. Make a note of your successes and accomplishments. They didn’t disappear with the relationship!
4. Don’t try to suppress all the memories you have. Allow yourself some time to go over one or two … But don’t pitch your tent there - as the future’s now your focus.
5. Reach out to others who are suffering. You’re not the only person who is having a hard time (although you often feel you are when you’re broken-hearted) … and comforting another will distract you from your pain.
6. Allow yourself to laugh, and allow yourself to cry. Both of these are healing, and can bring release. They can help us feel more “normal”, and can bring a sense of peace.
7. Make a “good and bad list”. Make a list of all the things that you need to stop doing, to try and put some distance between you and them. For example, if you’re always checking their stuff on facebook then you’ll likely find it is harder to get them out mind. Alternatively, going out for a jog or meeting up with a friend can help to lift your spirits, and to change the way you feel.
8. Hang onto your hope. When a relationship ends (or if our love is unrequited) we can feel that life is pointless as there’s nothing good ahead. But the future is still open – and there’s definitely hope … And one day you will notice that you’re smiling naturally.
An emotionally abusive person may “dismiss your feelings and needs, expect you to perform humiliating or unpleasant tasks, manipulate you into feeling guilty for trivial things, belittle your outside support system or blame you for unfortunate circumstances in his or her life. Jealousy, possessiveness and mistrust characterize an emotionally abusive person”. In summary, emotional abuse includes the following:
1. Acting as if a person has no value and worth; acting in ways that communicate that the person’s thoughts feelings and beliefs are stupid, don’t matter or should be ignored.
2. Calling the person names; putting them down; mocking, ridiculing, insulting or humiliating them, especially in public.
3. Controlling through fear and intimidation; coercing and terrorizing them; forcing them to witness violence or callousness; threatening to physically harm them, others they love, their animals or possessions; stalking them; threatening abandonment.
4. Isolating them from others, especially their friends and family; physically confining them; telling them how they should think, act, dress, what decisions they can make, who they can see and what they can do (limiting their freedom); controlling their financial affairs.
5. Using that person for your own advantage or gain; exploiting their rights; enticing or forcing another to behave in illegal ways (for example, selling drugs).
6. Stonewalling and ignoring another’s attempt to relate to and interact with them; deliberately emotionally detaching from a person in order to hurt them or “teach them a lesson”; refusing to communicate affection and warmth, or to meet their emotional and psychological needs.
1. Trust people when they tell you that they love you. Whether it be an intimate relationship, a friendship, or a family relationship, it is important to take the declaration of love at face value. If you are pushing aside the gift of love because you are afraid the person does not mean it, then you prevent them from having the chance to prove that they do.
2. Stop fearing loss. A common reason for not being able to receive love is a prior experience of losing someone you loved. However, if you spend all your life pushing aside love on the off-chance that the person might withdraw it again, you will always feel cynical and unsure. Instead, embrace their love, and go with the flow, expecting those who offer love to stay around.
3. Love yourself. This might be the hardest step of all. However, if you don’t love yourself then receiving love is impossible - because you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. If this is the case, start working on why you can’t love yourself. This might include seeking help to explore the issues behind the belief. Remember that every person is special - and that you deserve to be loved.
4. Let love in and don’t block it. Being open and receptive to the love that others offer is something you can learn with practice, over time. Don’t let the urge to be cynical or tough take over. Instead, let down your defenses, and accept support from others.
5. Observe how children receive love. They accept what is said, and view receiving love as natural. Re-learn what was once was innate – and choose to trust again.