“The best kind of people are the ones in your life who help you see the sun where once you just saw clouds, the people who believe in you and help your see your worth so you start to believe that you are valuable, as well.”—Unknown
“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”—Rumi
1. Your time is the best gift you can give. – In your relationships with others, nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention. So don’t listen with an agenda or the intent to reply. Hear what is being said with the intent to truly understand.
2. You have the power to make a big difference. – Everyone in life wants to be loved and accepted. Your greatest achievements in life will be the direct result of finding this love and acceptance within yourself, and radiating it out to those around you.
3. What makes us different is what makes us special. – Don’t be too quick to judge others or bully them for being different. And don’t put up with those who call you “a friend” and then judge and bully you. Let go of the need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you.
4. Love is meant to be shared. – So many people save their ‘loving.’ They consciously avoid putting their heart into their relationships, surrendering, opening up, and sharing, because they want to save it all for the right people (best friends, lovers, etc.) But the problem is when the right people come along they don’t realize it, they don’t know how to open up, and they don’t know anything about the act of loving.
5. You have to love yourself too. – The best thing you can do to improve the quality of your relationships is to work on loving and healing yourself.
6. Praise and recognition matters. – Give genuine praise. This is an investment in them that doesn’t cost you a thing, and the returns can be amazing. Be sure to follow this rule: “Praise in public, penalize in private.”
7. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – It seems like such a small thing, but in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and a quick “thank you” can create a bright spot in another person’s life.
8. Without honesty there is no friendship. – Honesty is the first chapter in the book of all wisdom. Honesty is the only path forward. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. So don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.
9. Loyalty means the world. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but an obligation.
10. Reaching out and staying in touch is important. – Stay in touch with those who matter to you because they’re worth the extra effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people is always a priority.
“Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything. Nothing’s going to disappear just because you can’t see what’s going on. In fact, things will even be worse the next time you open your eyes. That’s the kind of world we live in. Keep your eyes wide open. Only a coward closes his eyes. Closing your eyes and plugging up your ears won’t make time stand still.”—Haruki Murakami
1. Don’t try to read other peoples’ minds and don’t expect others to be able to read yours. Communicate if it is important to you.
2. Don’t expect to be friends with everyone. We all are different – and we all like different things. Instead, invest your time in a few good friends. That’s all you really need to feel happy and fulfilled.
3. Create a budget and live within your means. Accruing lots of debt will only cause you to feel stressed.
4. Kill off the monster of jealousy – and only compare yourself with yourself.
5. Organize your clutter and get rid of excess stuff. It will leave you feeling calmer, and will save you lots of time!
6. Stay on the sidelines and don’t get drawn into pointless scenes and dramas in other peoples’ lives (unless it’s a crisis – and you know you ought to help).
7. Finish what you’ve started - and then do something else.
8. Treat every person you meet with respect, and err on the side of being gentle and kind.
9. Accept that there are things that you can’t change or control – and focus on those things that you can change or control.
10. Admit when you were wrong, then say you’re sorry, and move on.
“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.”—Sophie Kinsella
“I’m thinking that it might actually be possible for things to work out sometimes. Definitely not everything and maybe not the way you imagined. But sometimes, when you least expected it, life surprises you.”—Susane Colasanti
1. Give your energy level a boost. It’s hard to be friendly, and to focus on others, if you’re feeling really tired and would rather be in bed. To keep going, grab some coffee or a bite to eat, or go outside for a few minutes, and get some cool, fresh air.
2. Have some tactics at the ready if you don’t know the people – or if you have to be with people you would rather avoid. For example, if you don’t like the people, ask a friend to go with you … and have a great excuse for leaving once you’ve done the minimum.
3. Plan ahead to avoid conflict. Aim to stay in control of your reactions and emotions – and resist the pressure to take part in arguments.
4. Control your contribution. If you’re quiet and introverted then value you who you are. Don’t expect yourself to be a party animal. Show respect for yourself by taking time out if you need to, and only talk to people that you want to be around.
5. See it as a chance to practices a few social skills. Take the pressure off yourself by practising your social skills. For example, ask a few open questions, and keep the focus on the speaker. Try and come across as friendly through your use of body language – like making good eye contact and smiling while you talk.
1. Smile: People who smile are viewed as being warmer and friendlier individuals.
2. Be easy to impress, or to make laugh and smile: Others also worry about how people see them. If they think that they’re succeeding, then they’ll like you even more.
3. Show interest and liking through your use of body language: Face the person, look them in the eye when you’re talking, and show you are friendly through your open body stance (uncrossed arms and legs etc.)
4. Remember the power of transfer traits: Basically, that means that if you say nice things about other people, they assume you’ll say nice things about them, too … Or if you criticise others, then you’ll criticise them, too.
5. Poke fun at yourself: It makes you seem more human and approachable.
6. Remember the power of emotional contagion: That means that others tend to pick up the emotions we project. So, if you seem laid back, warm, happy and relaxed then those you are with will start to feel the same way, too.
7. Remember the name and few basic facts about the person you are talking to: Such as their job, college major, favourite hobby, favourite food, places they have been to or awards they have received.
“If life doesn’t turn out exactly as you planned, don’t be surprised. Life is the great unknown. Even though we plan and scheme and make millions of assumptions about the future, the truth is that we don’t know what can happen in the next moment, let alone the next five weeks, months or years. So don’t be surprised when things don’t go according to your ideas, just relax and remember, life isn’t personal, it’s just life. Be open to the ever changing conditions and flow with them. Don’t get stuck.”—Michael Kewley
The Western world demands that we be extroverts. This can be stressful for an introverted person who feels she has to act, or change her personality. If you experience this, perhaps the following tips may help:
1. Most important, don’t feel bad about being an introvert. Be proud of who you are, and affirm your gifts and strengths. Remember, there’s no one ideal type of personality
2. Try and speak out more – even though you find it hard – as your viewpoints won’t be noticed if they’re never shared or heard. And what you think’s important – you deserve to have your say.
3. Give yourself a break and sometimes miss social events. There’s no point adding stress by doing more than you enjoy. Why should you go to everything, and not spend time alone?
4. Make sure you take the time to recharge your batteries – as spending time with people may tire and wear you out.
5. Also, take small breaks when you are part of a crowd. Try and just excuse yourself and spend a few moments alone.
1. Forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. No one is. Recognise that beating yourself up will only make things worse. Instead, forgive yourself, and then decide to just move on.
2. Focus on motivation. Without motivation, you can’t do anything. It’s much more powerful than self-discipline. So when things get tough, remind yourself of why life will be better if you reach your goal.
3. Make it easy. Discipline is tough so remove some obstacles. For example, if you’re having a hard time exercising, make it super easy by just doing 5 minutes to start with. If you can make that change for 30 days in a row, you’ll have developed a new habit.
4. Focus on enjoyment. It’s hard to push yourself — and to have self-discipline — when you hate doing something, or you see it as a drag. So do whatever you can to create a sense of fun. For example, if you don’t like exercise, find some good music, or a workout partner, and focus on that part of the activity.
5. Repeat. You’ll almost inevitably slip up from time to time, no matter how good, and committed, you are. Just get up, get going, and keeping marching straight ahead.
1. Prepare well in advance: Lack of preparation is the most commonly cited reason for exam anxiety. To deal with this, devise a study schedule that gets you working long before your exams start. That allows some time for any setbacks, roadblocks or unexpected obstacles. It also helps to combat the need to cram – which is known to add more stress during exams.
2. Develop good sleeping habits: This is one of the best ways to stay on top of stress. Develop a routine where you get sufficient sleep. This will help your brain to function at its optimum.
3. Keep caffeine and sugar at similar levels during pre-exam and exam times: Our bodies get used to certain chemical levels. If you suddenly decrease this, you may suffer withdrawal. In contrast, if you suddenly increase it, you might find it hard to focus.
4. Practise breathing techniques: These will help you to calm yourself if you start to feel anxious when you’re taking an exam. You’ll be able to apply them as soon as you feel stressed.
5. If possible, don’t study the night before: Or at least, only do the minimum amount, or briefly review the main concepts and themes. Then try to relax and get a good night’s sleep.
6. Expect to do your best: Your thoughts affect your feelings – and how anxious you are. If you keep repeating that you think you’re going to fail, it will undermine your confidence and faith in yourself. Also, it will make it hard to study and remember what you’re doing, as your thinking is consumed by “how bad it’s going to be”. In contrast, it you stay positive and believe in yourself, your mind will be free to focus on your work, and you’re likely to do better as you think you will succeed!
“People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.”—Chloe Rattray
“So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered.
I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.”—John Green
“You are not just here to fill space or be a background character in someone else’s movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.”—David Niven
1. Don’t negotiate with them. For emotional manipulators, it’s all about having, exerting and gaining more power. So they’ll always push for more and they’ll never compromise.
2. Don’t engage with them. Don’t try to talk, or reason, or discuss some matter with them - as they’ll try to twist your motives, and leave you feeling “bad”.
3. Don’t confront them. They’re quick to take offense and they love an argument. They’ll then turn and attack you – and never let things go.
4. Know your own personal buttons. They’ll aim to press your buttons to get a strong reaction. But knowing yourself well means you have the upper hand. Plan how to “not react” and to stay detached and calm.
5. Refuse to accept help as they’ll treat you like “you owe them”. You’ll then be in their debt – so it’s hard to feel you’re free.
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”—Gloria Naylor